Christmas Time is Here...

(to the tune of "Charlie Brown's Christmas)...

In a completely selfish manner, Sean and I took Kiera up to see Uncle Jason this past Saturday and into New York City to see the tree. Kiera was all sniffles and we contemplated not going due to her mood and runny nose, but I guiltily put her in the car and off we went.

It was so lovely!! When we finally got to the actual tree...the city was PACKED...I actually got a tear in my eye. The last time I was at the tree my mom was with me. We used to go to the city every holiday season with my Aunt and cousin to see a play and have lunch. Some years we'd go see the tree.

She won't remember a thing of going to see the tree, but I will. I'll remember how chilly the night air was. How cute she was all bundled up in her fleece outfit, boots, and big winter coat. I'll remember her eyes light up when she looked at all the lights on the gigantic tree, especially when they began to blink.

When I thought back on our night Sunday morning I began to cry at the breakfast table. Being there with Sean, Kiera and Jason made me so happy because it shouted, "FAMILY" to me...I so very much want Kiera to be surrounded by FAMILY. It, of course, made me crave my mother's company so badly that it physically hurt. I don't know that anyone (other than my girls...or others who have lost their mothers) can fully understand this feeling of physical pain when you think of someone. When you know with everything in you that they should still be here and yet they're not. When you know that they'd appreciate and love every minute of these special times together but they're not here to.

It's just so overwhelmingly bitter sweet...this whole holiday season. I'm having a tough tough time with it because I'm SO happy and then SO sad. It's annoying :)

But again, I'll just have to feel good in knowing that I have one more angel on my side. An angel who has sent me SO many wonderful gifts, especially this year!!

The gift of Kiera
The gift of someone who I love to watch over her
The gift of best friends
The gift of health
The gift of happiness
The gift of family

Thanks Mommy.

Melissa

Thoughtful Thursday

Thankful

by
Josh Groban

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for

Look beyond ourselves

There's so much sorrow

It's way too late to sayI'll cry tomorrow

Each of us must find our truth

It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And every day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for

Even with our differences

There is a place we're all connected

Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

Melissa

December??

I cannot even wrap my brain around the fact that it's December! Where does the time go?? As the other girls have mentioned, Thanksgiving has come and gone with bitter sweet moments. We went to Connecticut for Thanksgiving and seeing my father with Kiera melts my heart every time! I cannot get enough of how overwhelmed he is by her! He gets this giddiness that I don't know he had when I was a baby...but I think being a grandparent is much different than being a parent sometimes. I think my mom is rolling over in her grave seeing how far my father and I have come...since she said to my friend's mom before she died, "please keep an eye on Melissa and Tony, they're going to kill each other!" :) He says all these funny things to her, bounces her around and looks like he's going to eat her alive, it's adorable. His whole attitude has changed since she was born and we're loving every minute of it!

It's terribly enjoyable being with my Dad and Camille on Thanksgiving, but I also miss going to my Uncle Bob and Aunt Noel's in Massachusetts every year. We used to have THE best time! There were a whole bunch of us there, so many laughs, and the annual Trivial Pursuit game. My cousins would sneak us drinks and we'd eat way too much! When I was really little I used to be able to sleep over with my cousin Meg while my parents stayed in a hotel...I loved that! She's five years older, which at the time felt like an eternity...and she used to take me to see movies like "Aladdin" and "Beauty and the Beast" at night. I miss having a "big" family...big for me anyway :) I'm so excited for the years to come, the holidays to celebrate...to give my Dad, Camille, Donna and Tom another Grandchild...and to have fun with our "big" family.

Melissa