Just a quick update...

Kiera got her third tooth within the past week...we don't know exactly when because she's such a good baby that there was no lost sleep, crying, etc...but it's here!! And the fourth is on it's way. It's so sad to think that she's going to be this little person with a fullish set of TEETH soon!! Bring on the steak!

Sean has been away a lot lately...and all this week. I don't know how single moms do it and I praise them for it! It's so hard not having an extra set of hands at home. I have to do laundry tonight like you wouldn't believe and I'm actually planning out how to get it all done so that I can get everything else done tonight!! It's unreal. Oh well...I love spending time with Kiera, so I can wear dirty clothes or let the house fall to pieces and I feel good about it :)

Nicole just sent me a picture text of Kiera in a shoe store with her new sneakers that she got her for her birthday! What am I going to do without her next year??!!! Will anyone love her like she does when I can't be with her???? I hate the thought of it. I'm on the search for a new sitter...Nicole is going back to work...and it's not easy...sigh. Nicole was my savior and we were so blessed to have her in Kiera's life during such critical months...and now we move on.

So much for a quick update.

11 Months Old!

Kiera Rita is 11 months old today! Where does the time go?? Last year at this time we had just wrapped up my baby shower...where we were spoiled rotten!! Here are some of the absolutely amazing things that she's doing now...

• Huffing and Puffing through her nose when she doesn't get her way.
• Standing alone for seconds at a time...when she doesn't realize she's doing it.
• Takes a few steps when we hold her hands...and then becomes lazy and gets back to crawling around like a maniac.
• Sorts objects from one bucket to another.
• Eats and eats...anything she can get her hands on!
• Drinks from a sippy cup.
• Has always LOVED music, but loves is so much now that she looks to find where it's coming from.
• Drinks the bath water...actually enjoys licking it...oh well!
• Stands up in the tub all the time...lies down too! Can't take your peepers off her for a moment.
• Loves Noggin...there's an addiction growing and if it allows me to go to the bathroom, I'm cool with it :) I watched TV (probably too much and do now) and have a master's degree....so we're all good :)
• Says Mama and Dada discriminately...and knows what her "baba" is and asks for it, and we think says "rara" for Roman.

So it's all terribly exciting! She's just this little ball of energy and I love every minute of it! She's so much more than anything I could have imagined and I feel so blessed to have her in my life every single day!

Last week I was so sick. I had a terrible stomach virus that lasted for around 12 hours with the bad symptoms...and then up until yesterday with the residual effects like not being able to eat anything that wasn't bread. I prayed so hard every minute that I could that Kiera didn't get sick...every minute! Sean was away for work so I had to do everything...like feed her, give kisses :), etc...so I was deathly afraid that she would get it and be a mess and I don't want to see her like that just yet. Thankfully, knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood...nothing has surfaced (yet). So I'm optimistic.

But every time I get sick I worry and worry that something more serious is wrong with me. I think it's really hard not to when your mom died at 49. I become obsessed with dying and leaving Kiera and Sean behind and I hate hate hate those thoughts. It's so unbelievably easy for Sean to say, "stop thinking that, you're fine." And I know that he's right, but in the back of my mind I can't help but think it and it makes me so upset and sad. I don't know how my mom felt when she knew that she was going to have to leave her daughter and husband behind, but it couldn't have felt good.

So, what I have to do every day that I have those thoughts is to remember to "think good thoughts, think good thoughts, think good thoughts..." and I'll be ok?! My very good, amazing, charismatic, fabulous friend, Molly (my Molly-lama) gave me some meditation cards recently that are advice from a mother to a daughter (she's so thoughtful all the damn time) and I can't get enough of them. One of them says, "Breathe. You're stronger than you think you are." Simply put and so true. And I can just envision my mom saying those words to me all the time.

That's the scoop from here...one month to go until my peanut is ONE! I simply cannot wrap my brain around it. I love her more and more with every passing minute and wish that all her loved ones who aren't with us anymore could meet this extraordinary little person!

My Mom Would Have Been So Proud Of Me...

I made my own puree yesterday of fruits and vegetables to make banana bread! It was so much easier than I thought it would be and can't believe that I haven't been making my own baby food all along! When I pureed the bananas, Kiera ate the left overs and LOVED every minute of it!!

I had bought this cookbook months and months and months ago after seeing Jessica Seinfeld on Oprah promoting it. It's called, "Deceptively Delicious" and I hadn't made anything from it. It's all about incorporating veggies into your child's meals so that they don't know they're there.

Nicole had given me a wonderful list of all the foods her kids ate about this time. So I decided that this weekend was the weekend. Kiera actually decided because she's made the decision to no longer eat baby food. She really wants food that she can pick up, so now Mommy has to be more creative. She'll really eat anything I put in front of her to grab, but I thought this was a good way to give her something more than just a fruit or veggie. Therefore Kiera had her first piece (or three) of banana bread with cauliflower hidden in there~it was delicious :) She really needs to keep getting all her good veggies, but refuses them when I put them on a spoon. This is such a great compromise....and like I said, she actually did eat the banana off the spoon and enjoyed it endlessly.

So I think that I am going to really start to puree lots of different kind of veggies every weekend and start putting them in all the foods that she loves. This way I know she's getting what she needs. She also enjoyed the cauliflower steamed before I pureed it, so that's now an option too! My mom would be thrilled that I took the time to do this...I am an easy recipe girl...I think I'm headed in the right direction!!

Melissa

Happy Valentine's Day

Because my friend Jess did it...and I LOVED IT...here is what a year makes for us McHughs...Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day 2008 31 Weeks along

Our 2009 Valentine...in all her silly glory!!


I'm more in love than I ever thought possible! Here's to many more years to come....xoxox

Melissa

February 1st...1996

February 1st is here again...it's hauntingly eerie that it shows up every single year like clockwork, but here it is again :) It's very bizarre that it's been 13 years since my mom passed away. It feels like it's gone by in a blink...and then on the other hand, it feels like it's dragged on and on. So much has happened, including the usual graduations, jobs, houses, marriages, babies etc...but also things...so many many many other things! So here I am again remembering the details of this day to a "t" as though it was just yesterday that I was a naive 17 (soon to be 18 in a week) year old who never once believed that her mother would actually die until she had a stroke "this morning". And then she did...at 11:00pm.
In other news, since I'm writing...Kiera Rita always makes me feel better with all her kookiness! She is 9 1/2 months old, all over the place like you can't even imagine. She's pulling herself up on things that she shouldn't, talking in her own little language with all types of words that I don't understand (I'm sure that won't be the first time!), eating anything we put in front of her and loving every minute of it, goes to story time at the Library with Aunt Nicole and tries to eat the books, and is becoming the most lovey dovey little person I've ever met. I can't get enough of her and just want to eat her alive at all times! The lygestics are that she weighs over 19 lbs and is really long (Sean took her to her 9 month and can't remember...but she's in the 80th percentile for length...really tall :). She takes steps when we hold her hands and just laughs all the time! She shows me what pure joy really is!

So off I go to continue with my February 1st. At least my mommy sent me a lovely day...we've gone for our first walk in months and months...I had a wonderful dinner with my girls last night who always know how to make me feel endlessly loved...and my family of 3 will push me along to happiness quite nicely.

Melissa

A Look Back on 2008...

Happy New Year everyone!! Our almost two weeks "off" have flown by so very fast! I am so sad that it's coming to a close. This past year in general has gone by in one big blur. Here are just a few of the highlights...

• Of course, we were blessed with the most amazing gift of Kiera Rita in April!
  
• I celebrated my 30th Birthday surrounded by friends and family with my precious angel in my belly.


• I found out who my friends really and truly are.


• I got to spend 5 wonderful months at home loving up my baby girl.


• We bought a boat...Sean's biggest dream!! And we got it for a steal!


• I learned that I could breastfeed...and was good at it! lol


• I learned that I was sad when I had to stop.


• We had an amazing party for Kiera and Sean filled with the people who love us all.


• I balanced work and family quite well I think.


• We celebrated more firsts than I can count...including: rolling, sitting, teething, babbling, crawling, eating, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years....

So I think it's been a pretty good year. If 2009 can be just as good, I'm in great shape!! Again, Happy New Year!!

Melissa

Christmas Time is Here...

(to the tune of "Charlie Brown's Christmas)...

In a completely selfish manner, Sean and I took Kiera up to see Uncle Jason this past Saturday and into New York City to see the tree. Kiera was all sniffles and we contemplated not going due to her mood and runny nose, but I guiltily put her in the car and off we went.

It was so lovely!! When we finally got to the actual tree...the city was PACKED...I actually got a tear in my eye. The last time I was at the tree my mom was with me. We used to go to the city every holiday season with my Aunt and cousin to see a play and have lunch. Some years we'd go see the tree.

She won't remember a thing of going to see the tree, but I will. I'll remember how chilly the night air was. How cute she was all bundled up in her fleece outfit, boots, and big winter coat. I'll remember her eyes light up when she looked at all the lights on the gigantic tree, especially when they began to blink.

When I thought back on our night Sunday morning I began to cry at the breakfast table. Being there with Sean, Kiera and Jason made me so happy because it shouted, "FAMILY" to me...I so very much want Kiera to be surrounded by FAMILY. It, of course, made me crave my mother's company so badly that it physically hurt. I don't know that anyone (other than my girls...or others who have lost their mothers) can fully understand this feeling of physical pain when you think of someone. When you know with everything in you that they should still be here and yet they're not. When you know that they'd appreciate and love every minute of these special times together but they're not here to.

It's just so overwhelmingly bitter sweet...this whole holiday season. I'm having a tough tough time with it because I'm SO happy and then SO sad. It's annoying :)

But again, I'll just have to feel good in knowing that I have one more angel on my side. An angel who has sent me SO many wonderful gifts, especially this year!!

The gift of Kiera
The gift of someone who I love to watch over her
The gift of best friends
The gift of health
The gift of happiness
The gift of family

Thanks Mommy.

Melissa