First Official Day of Maternity Leave!

We're getting all prepped and ready for Miss Caitlin's arrival...as
ready as I think we'll ever be! There actually wasn't too much to do...knowing that she is (hopefully) a girl has been very helpful :)

We did all the laundry over Spring Break and Sean had put in a new closet organizer in January. They both have more clothes than any small person should. We also washed all the bouncy seat covers, boppies, play mats and blankets...SO...we shall see if I forgot anything when she arrives :)

We have the bassinet ready, but haven't put it up yet. The first time we did, Kiera 100% believed that it was hers...uh oh! So we've had it folded away until Cate gets here and hopefully once Kiera sees her in there she'll get it. My friend Maureen had borrowed one of our bouncy seats and returned it recently...Kiera climbed in it and fell out on her face...she didn't like that ONE bit and hasn't climbed in it since. Therefore, we're hoping the bouncy seat issue won't be too much of an issue at all.

I've written this before, but I really wish we had another bedroom upstairs so that Cate could be in her own room like Kiera was from night ONE...but that's not to be the case. Eventually, they will share a room, but for a while Caitlin will be in our room *sigh*. I don't love it, we don't love it, but that's the way it has to be, so that's the way it will be. Aunt Rae Rae has asked 1000 times where the bassinet is so she can set it up when Cate arrives...

It reminds me so much of the night Sean and I went into the hospital with Kiera. I was in the living room setting up the pack-n-play when my dad called frantic saying that he was driving Camille crazy with his pacing, so he was just coming down until we had the baby. He said he would be more comfortable being here instead of there...it made me feel SO good...but I told him to stay put so he wouldn't be pacing here :) Those of you who know my dad know that he's the kind of man who can make coffee nervous...so we all (including him) decided to keep him up there...until the next morning when Kiera arrived. haha. I think he will be a little calmer this time, he's a pro now.

So other than a few last minute purchases with the help of many gift cards from so many generous friends and kids, we will be (sort of) ready! YEA!

I have a doctor's appointment today...we'll see if anything's changed. Then Kiera and I have an appointment for our bangs to be cut. Tomorrow Aunt Rae Rae and I are taking Kiera to JcPenney for her 2 year old pictures...please remind yourselves of her 1 year post last year where I swore I wouldn't do this again (except maybe her birthday, soooo...). Tomorrow should be exhausting :) But otherwise, she's going to Jen's most days so I can finish up here and rest! She'll be home for over two weeks in May due to Jen's vacation and Mom Mom being here for over a week from Wisconsin, so for me to get a little feet up time between now and then should be helpful.

Off I go...

Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy

I wanted to take just a minute to put in writing how lucky I am to be married to Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy. I'm often "complaining" about how much I miss my Mom and how very different things would be if she were here, which they would! But, over 14 years ago, when God took her from my life, she began working on sending me an angel here on Earth, and that was Sean for sure.

I have NEVER met anyone with so much patience, compassion, fun, helpfulness, and love. He is a true family man who, even at the lowest of times, holds us all together in a way that only he can. I never thought I'd find someone who could balance me out...and then there he was. Always with such a kind understanding of my changing moods and craziness :) He's amazing.

Especially now that I'm only twoish weeks away from giving birth to our second child, he has upped his game, if that's even possible! He's doing everything for our family...cooking, cleaning, keeping up with Kiera alone since I can't :) We're usually such a good tag-team, but I just can't get up fast enough now (hahaha). Let me give him some more credit on the cooking though...he has always been our main cook...and especially since I was first pregnant with Kiera and couldn't even look at food...he started cooking every night and it stuck...phew...because I can do without cooking any day :)

They say in books that children love their parents in different ways and look to them for what they need/want from them. Kiera most certainly knows that Sean is her playmate! "Come on Daddy, Come on!" They roll around on the floor, play outside in and out of the playhouse (constantly...I don't know how he does it, maybe I will when I don't have a medicine ball attached to my stomach), they chase each other around the house like crazy people laughing like hyenas, she makes him hide in the closet with her and then they pop out. It's too much!

I would so much rather have both Sean and my Mommy...she would have been running around right along side of them...she was AMAZING and would be thrilled with having two granddaughters, more than anyone could imagine...but if I can't have them both, I'm eternally grateful for the angel she sent down to look over me on a daily basis. I couldn't do any of this without him and can't imagine not having him by my side. Kiera and Cate are THE luckiest little girls in the world!

Kiera is TWO Today!

Kiera Rita turned TWO years old today! We can't believe that two years managed to slip through our fingers so quickly. It's, once again, showing us how very fast life it going to pass us by.

We had a lovely day...very relaxing. Uncle Jimmy came up from Cape May to spend the morning and afternoon with us, then Aunt Rae Rae spent the late afternoon with us. She's a very lucky little lady.

Saturday...well our little gathering is over, and I'm once again, exhausted! It's amazing how stressful a throw-it-together-at-the-last-minute-get-together can be! We decided very late to throw together a tiny fiesta for Miss K. My motherless daughters girls were on me about what we were going to do for her, so we decided a little dinner and cake might just be in order. We actually didn't even speak to Sean's brothers about it until last Sunday...we stink! Poor Kiera...but it was nice and the kids ran around like crazy people...Kiera was up until 9 and got up on Sunday morning at 5:45!! What the??!!

Kiera is more than we could have ever asked for in life. She is so spunky and opinionated and brilliant and lively and thrilling and adorable...and it can go on and on. She's the most beautiful person I've ever known and can't wait to know her even better as the years go on.

On Friday we were laying in my bed reading a book and she looks up at me and says, "I love you Mommy." Melt my freaking heart!! I can't handle things like that preggers or not!! I could not ask for anything more.

Some days I feel so guilty for having another baby so close to her age. Has she gotten enough time being #1? Will she feel sad most days that Cate is here? Will I be able to give her the attention that she needs? Will I have enough time in the day to give them both the attention that they need? How on Earth can I love someone as much as I love her?! I know from other people that all of this is normal and that you "just do", but I can't stand how much I love her and I never want to take anything away from her...or the new peanut. It's so hard!

But the next year of her life will be filled with change and excitement and big sister duties (that she didn't sign up for!) and hopefully a ton of love, fun, and family. She even has another new cousin coming in August...so she'll be surrounded by new babies to love.

Here's to our baby girl's third year of life. We couldn't love her any more than we do now! Happy Happy Birthday our Angel!

Tough Mommy Day

"I am tired" would be an understatement. I am sore, sore, sore too! I never felt like this with Kiera, so it's a whole new world right now. My inner thighs feel like I've been at the gym for days on end! I can't maneuver or play with Kiera properly and that's all she wants :( Honestly, walking during this pregnancy is a serious issue in itself....the doctor's words to me, "Second Pregnancy" and I correct with..."Last Pregnancy!!!! Thank you."

I'm having a Tough Mommy day on two angles...Being Kiera's Mommy and not being able to be the happy energetic mommy she needs right now and Missing My Mommy. It's not easy knowing so many people who, at the DROP of a HAT can call their mothers and they'll be right over to help. I don't have that luxury at all. It's frustrating and overwhelming. Everyone we know has family and friends surrounding them and we have no one...and those we do have infants themselves so it's not easy on them either nor do we want to burden anyone with a request of, "can you please dear god in heaven come here and help us for an hour so that I can clean a bathroom or do laundry or fill the dishwasher or vacuum....or breathe!!!!"

When I was adopted my mom didn't work full-time and had her mom to help. And in the immortal words of my Rebecca, "Melis, you know that if your mom were alive she'd be at that house all the time to help you!" What a wonderful fantasy to have.

I'm definitely having one of those days...they are few and far between most of the time, but lately they've been right up close. We have SO much stress going on in our lives and I feel LOST. Between Sean's job situation, my job situation (thank you Governor Christie for everything), the pregnancy, the weather and flooding basement, the messiest house that I can't keep up with and Kiera being the rambunctious 2 year old that she's supposed to be, I just feel like I can't do it anymore.

I am under NO assumption that this will get easier when Caitlin arrives, but at least I can get up from a sitting position faster, run after Kiera if needed, not feel like I'm ready to fall apart at the seams from all the aches and pains that are running through the lower part of my body...I'll just be tired...exhausted...and that will be good.

Plus, we have three of the most demanding animals on the planet! The dogs are a nightmare and always always always under my feet making me trip over them. Sera is in a really bad place with the loss of Leia and sits on the stairs crying all the time now...she NEVER did that before...she needs more attention than I can give her. If and when I get down in the flooded basement where she hides because she hates the dogs (and Kiera for that matter), I am dashing to get laundry into the washer or out of the dryer before Kiera falls and breaks herself or something upstairs because God knows I can't bring her down there. Mental note to self: Next house...Ranch with two bedrooms, one bathroom and laundry next to the kitchen. Period.

Therefore, "I'm overwhelmed" would also be an understatement. My sister was down for a couple of days with her 3 month old and two 9 year olds and even THAT made me feel less overwhelmed and tired. I just can't get it all together. When Sean is home he's a HUGE help! When he's not, I feel like digging a hole and getting into it.

This post is so unlike me recently...other than the Leia episode...I'm usually upbeat and optimistic, but not today. Not today. Why on Earth my mom isn't here to help me through this is beyond me...why she won't be here for her Granddaughter's Easter tomorrow is beyond me (she would have given up everything to be here!)...Every now and again I must regress into a child myself and have some "Why Me?!" moments and today is definitely full of them! *sigh*

But, right now, Kiera and I are going to go outside and run about the yard in the sun and see if Mommy can brighten up this Bad Mommy Day. Off we go...