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A New Favorite

I've said before that some people expressed their...how shall we say, disgust, in the way we "welcomed" our children to our family...I found a quote this past weekend that I shared with Molly and we both shed a tear over it. It emulates everything Sean and I were thinking when we choose to "bless" our children the way we did.

Here it is:

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."

-Dalhi Lama

We have NEVER regretted our decision and this furthers the fact to us that we made the 100% right decision...for us and the people who love our children.

Hmmmm.....

Cate at 5 months....

Kiera at 5 months...

Mommy at 5 months....

Thoughts??? :)

First Tooth!!

YEA! and NAY! Caitlin has her first tooth!!

We are really excited that our baby girl has cut her first tooth...much in the way Kiera did...WITHOUT us KNOWING! But on the other hand, she's still a baby baby and I just want to keep her that way FOREVER! That toothless grin that can melt a heart has now become a toothy grin that can melt a heart. *sigh*

We knew that she'd probably have teeth sooner rather than later because not only does everything go in her mouth, as babies tend to do, but she was drooling like her life was depending on it. And yesterday, while chewing on my finger for the hundredth time that day, there it was...a little rough spot of tooth...and our newborn has a tooth...so sad...yet happy. Not sure how to feel :) So we'll end with YEA! (and nay!) our baby has her FIRST TOOTH!!!

Five Months Old...&...Almost Two and a Half!

Well, it's been almost a month since I wrote last and I can't believe that it's been that long! Time is flying by so quickly that I can hardly stand it.

Caitlin Maria is FIVE months old already. She's a ray of sunshine that we never could have prepared ourselves for. Last year at this time I was so sick with morning sickness, overwhelmed by the prospect of being a mommy of two and saddened that Kiera would have to share our attention. Now, today, we could not imagine life without her...she's just amazing! It's most definitely like she's always been here.

Having a five month old alongside a vivacious two and a half year old is such a breath of fresh air. She's the calm and Kiera's the storm...in a good way :) Cate loves to chill out on our laps, watch everything that's going on, talk, put her feet in her mouth (and anything else she can get her cute little hands on), laugh, suck her (right) thumb (Kiera sucks her left), and is just generally THE best baby! She looks so snuggly in her PJs and just adorable in her Kitty-Cat hat courtesy of Aunt Mimi :) She has this scream that is too much for any of us to handle. It's AWESOME. She's currently eating baby food and loving every minute of it. She's taken to the bottle like a pro...thank goodness because stopping breastfeeding was hard for me with Kiera and even harder now with Cate knowing that it's my last time. We want Cate to stay this small and innocent forever...just thinking that she'll be as big as Kiera is now in two short years blows our minds. We love it when she falls asleep on our chests, puts her tiny hand on ours, and runs her hand along our cheeks. *sigh*

In September we had her welcoming day alongside friends and family from all over. We had made the decision with Kiera that we're not religious enough to have our children formally baptized, so we chose this instead. Our very good friend, Molly, is a very spiritual person and respects all aspects of religions and spirituality. We therefore chose her as our guide through this and we were honored to have her do both "blessings" where we welcomed our girls to the family. My sister Michelle and Sean's brother Jason are Cate's "God" parents...with that we simply have given them the role of being there for our daughter, to guide her along a positive path and to simply be the people she can go to if ever she needs. I have some negative people in my life right now who have expressed their opposing feelings to this and to that I say, to each their own. We've chosen this path, their "God" parents have accepted and our girls will be raised with amazing people surrounding them to lead them down the proper roads in life. I feel really great about our decision and I know that Sean does too. We've done what's right for our family and the people who love us and our girls are coming along for the ride...and all we know is that those who love them will always love them...no matter what! We feel so overwhelmingly blessed with our family of four, our biological family that's here for us no matter what and loves us unconditionally, and our "logical" family as Molly puts it-those we choose as our family and who have stepped up to the plate more than we could have ever hoped for...we couldn't be any happier!

Moving on to our Kiera Rita...she's a PISTOL and we LOVE it!!! The things that she says, does, understands...it's just amazing. She's so talkative and says THE funniest things. She sings all the time and demands certain songs on a daily basis. Everything is hers...the sky, the moon, every single toy in the house...etc. Everything is her "Favorite!" and she gets SO excited about it. She can count to 28 which blows our mind. She loves to play with other kids...especially her cousins Nicholas, Andrew and Jason who she calls, "my boys". She's surrounded by insanity and takes it all in stride. She currently loves to play tea party and insists on real tea in her cups or she gets quite angry. She will only wear certain shoes and anything else is unacceptable. We've gone from one lamby to THREE! My fault, fine. And her hair is getting SO long and I refuse to cut it :)

I'm having SUCH a problem uploading pictures to Facebook to share with our friends and family, so please forgive me...I'm quite far behind...plus, with being back to work I hardly have time to be on the computer at home so I don't get as much accomplished on there as I'd like. Things are hectic and wonderful and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunday Nights

There are very few nights in my life growing up that hold stronger memories in my mind like Sunday nights. Not only of course because I was always sad to see the weekend go, but because I can clearly recall how the light looked in my parents' bedroom, the sound of my mom's laughter while watching "America's Funniest Home Videos", and the feel of her nails as she scratched my back ever so lightly while I laid on my dad's side of the bed watching her little TV along side her.

Those are the moments that I miss with such fierceness that it hurts. Those simple times when everything was OK. When you never thought your world would be turned upside down before your eyes. When you had your mommy and never in a million years thought that you would lose her and her finger nails running down your back so soon.

I wish she were here to do this with our girls....two hands, two backs.

I only hope that I can make those memories with our girls...even if I die when I'm 101 and they're in their 70s...I want them to always remember Sunday nights.

We're Rolling On...

We're in the third week of school and things couldn't be moving more smoothly...now that I've said that the world may explode, but we'll knock on some wood and be ok :)

The girls are so happy with Jaime and that couldn't make us any happier. Cate has taken to the bottle with ease (thank GOD!) and Kiera plays, does crafts, goes to the library, and sleeps like a champ when she's there. We were SO lucky to find her and are incredibly grateful that our girls are somewhere where they're taken care of as though they were home.

Being back at work has been good as well...even though I miss them with all my heart, I do appreciate the balance of things and enjoy having some adult time...or time to sit and type a blog during my half an hour lunch break. My class is delightful and seem to have it together for the most part, which really helps. I absolutely LOVE teaching...if I didn't I really wasted something like eight years in college for this! It brings me such joy and I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to be both a Mom and a Teacher. Is it hectic? Are there some mornings when I just want to lounge around with the girls in our PJs all day? Certainly. But this gives me a really flexible schedule to be able to do both throughout the year.

Sean's schedule is slowing down too as the fall approaches, which is great. There's nothing I love more than when all four of us are home and are able to spend some real quality time together...when there's no laundry, cooking, cleaning, or work to catch up on....which is rare :) Kiera just adores him and it warms my heart to see the two of them play and play. When Cate's more mobile, she'll be right in there with them...I'm so excited to see it.

I'm doing a little "cleaning house" of my own head and heart recently as well. I've decided to really focus on my own mind and body instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks about me. There's been so much negativity coming at me recently, but also in the past few years when I should have been ecstatic for so many reasons. The burden of thoughts that people have put on me have been so unhealthy and ridiculous that it's time to detach...forever. Instead, I'm going to put my attention towards my amazing husband, our gorgeous girls, my loving and fantastic Dad, and our family and friends whom I know love us and our family to pieces...no matter what.

So we continue on with a great start to my "year"! I have a wonderful aid in here with me who I don't know if I'll ever be able to live without...we're making an amazing team! I have a great class who are going to spoil me this year!! I have the most well adjusted to any situation girls who are loving the care they're being given! And I'm loving life!

End of Summer...Beginning of Work

I began work last week and the girls have adjusted perfectly to our new routine. They LOVE Jaime and Kiera will ask for her and her son, Luke, when she's not with them! We're so happy and feel so at ease knowing that they're in the best hands during the day when we can't be with them.

This past weekend we headed on down to Lewes, Delaware to see my friend and her family for the weekend. Her mom gave us use of her amazing condo so that we'd have plenty of room to spread out...and God knows, we did!! I cannot express the fun we had there. It was such a nice change of pace to be out of New Jersey with our family and have a mini-vaca with great friends! Our girls are all the same age...so it's THE BEST! Kiera and Mia are 6 weeks apart and Cate and Mikaela are 3 months apart. To see them together was amazing. Kiera and Mia played and played and played. We put Cate and Mikaela in the same pack-n-play at the beach and they were all over each other...it was ADORABLE!! Sean and John are kindred spirits and enjoyed some male bonding over grills, fire pits, tents, boats, and the huge clam bake they set up for us all to eat on Sunday night. We were so sad to leave. I know that I speak for both of us when I say that I'm SO glad the girls have "cousins" to grow up with!

In fact we've been so blessed with all the births this past year for our girls. Cate has so many freaking people to play with she won't know what to do with herself and Kiera gets to be a big sister to so many...it's great. I'm from a very small family with few cousins my age, so this is simply thrilling for me to have people with babies so close in age to our children. Our girls are super lucky!

The Summer is Coming to a Close

The worst thing about the summer is that it has to come to an end sometime.

For us, this summer has certainly been an adventure! It's been THE hottest summer I can ever remember and we had the most beautifully hot child for it. Cate has been everywhere and then some, much more than we ever did with Kiera, but we definitely had to limit our outdoor activities because of the oppressive heat.

I feel so blessed to have had this time with the girls and am looking forward to next summer even more. I go back and forth with feelings of sadness to return to work and feelings of excitement. I love and NEED my job for us to stay afloat and therefore, there must be some feeling of excitement or I'll go crazy. My very wise friend, Molly, said that she thinks it's important for me to stay true to myself and that it's great for the girls to see a strong working mom who does things not only for them, but for herself as well...and I add, to stay sane. As usual, she's right. Besides, being stuck in these four walls all days makes me kind of kooky...and I get stressed that the house isn't clean or that the laundry isn't done. When I'm at work, I don't care. And when we all come home at the end of the day, I still don't care! I just cherish the time we have together in the evenings and look forward to the weekends.

Anyway, onwards. Cate is three months old already and just the sweetest child there is. I'm nervous about her commitment to the bottle in the next few weeks, but I'm sure, just like Kiera, she'll get the hang of it...or starve...we shall see :) She's the happiest, most content, loving child with this soul that I can only hope came from the best parts of my mom up there. When she looks at you it's like she's looking into you. She's amazing. She's just started rolling over and she constantly wants to sit up. When you have her on her back she lifts her neck as far as it can go as if to say, "I'm missing something, I know I am!" We're in trouble there! She's a great sleeper and most nights gives me the whole night...last night was an 8-6 night! Woo Hoo! She has her doctor's appointment on Wednesday, so we don't know how much she currently is, but she seems to be getting longer rather than chubbier...but still has THE best thighs! *Squeeze* I don't know what we ever did without her!!

Kiera is a canon and most of the time I LOVE IT! She definitely has her moments of defiance, but is generally such a sweet, good and fun fun fun two year old! My favorite parts of the day are when she comes up to me and gives me a hug and a kiss and says that she loves me; when she's so sticky sweet to Cate and gives her hugs and kisses...and also says things to her that I say to her which makes me laugh. The things that come out of her mouth in general are hysterical! The other morning she sat on the couch, looked at Sean and I dancing around each other in the kitchen trying to get everything ready for the day and said as serious as can be, "Ummm....waffles?!" Like we were not meeting her needs and she needed them met immediately. Too much.

The sleeping situation with the two of them has proved to be brilliant. If I need to get Cate while Kiera is still sleeping, she may wake up for a moment, but goes right back down. Naps are still sort of tricky because they're not on the same schedule yet...but right now they're both up there snoozing away.

Potty training is going, but not going as fast as I had hoped. All I can say, again, is that I think she's just not ready. She LOVES to go on the potty and gets SO excited when she does...her face lights up like fireworks! But then she could sit in a wet diaper, underwear or puddle all day long and think NOTHING of it. Ick.

Yesterday I began thinking, again, how much my mom would have loved these girls. It's such a shame and puts such a strange damper on things almost daily for me. Having your mom die at such a young age inevitably makes you think of your own mortality and I find myself praying to a God that I don't even think I know since she died and hoping that "he" doesn't take me too early too! Because I could really really really use my mom every day...if not for just a ten minute conversation here and there...*sigh* False hopes. It also makes me think how lucky the girls are right now to not know that there is such sadness out there...they have Mommy and Daddy and they feel safe. If they cry, we're there, if they fall, we pick them up. I would imagine it's a wonderful feeling to have. One that me and many of my friends don't have anymore. I was talking to my friend Lozelle last night and we were chatting about some of these things and she said that she sometimes has to ask, "what is the lesson that I'm supposed to learn from this?!" And she's so right. What is it that the heavens are trying to teach us by taking away someone that we love so deeply and NEED so very much?! I'm NOT a stronger person because of this and my children's Grandma was taken. It sucks. Period.

I just let my thoughts and fingers do the writing my friends...sorry :)

Anyway, my family of four is doing stupendously. I'm so excited to see what the future holds in store. Every time Kiera slams the door in play I wonder what it will be like in 12 years when I'm taking the door off the hinges after she slams it in anger :) I'm so in love with my husband, beautiful girls, and life. We are certainly blessed.

Two Months Old...and Almost 27 Months Old :)

Wow...our McHugh mamas are growing up way too fast!! I'm the saddest person thinking that this will be the last baby that I hold to my chest who fits there...but it most certainly will be :)

Cate is growing with leaps and bounds, cooing, following people and objects, loves to look out at the world and observe, sleeping 100% through the night in her crib in Kiera's room (woo hoo!), and is just the sweetest soul! I can't get enough of staring into her deep blue eyes that go on forever. She's just amazing.

Kiera is full of life and is such a fun little girl. She's definitely going through a "mine" phase and is very good at being demanding, but we can usually turn it around. We've been going on many outings to the library for stories and crafts, playing in the pool and around the yard...but most days these summer we've been stuck in the house because of the overwhelmingly oppressive heat!! We're roasting here in the shade.

**I started this on the 13th and it's taken me this long to get back to it...it's now Monday, July 26**

The biggest change right now has been putting Kiera into her own "big girl bed" and putting Cate in the room with her. It's been such a huge success! I'm thrilled!! I was SO worried and it all came together beautifully. Kiera LOVES her bed and climbs right in at night and at nap time and stays there until I come and get her. She's always been an amazing sleeper, so let's just hope this keeps up. Caitlin has been sleeping in her crib for a little over a week now (I think, the days blend). It's been great so far. There was one day that I had to get her at 4am and Kiera heard me come in, but went right back to sleep after I took Cate out. Phew. The biggest "problem" I have with Caitlin and her sleep has been that she weasels her way into the corners of the bed and wakes herself up. So I have to start her all the way down at the very end of the bed at night and by the morning she's all the way up in the front wedged into the corner...we got breathable bumpers for just that reason for her. It's been working out nicely :) So we're thrilled!

Now onto potty training...an area that I have no idea what I'm doing...there are so many, and this is certainly one of them. She's very interested in the potty and usually goes at least once a day, but to get her to go every time she needs to go has been a challenge! I've read about different techniques, rewards, etc. and nothing seems to be 100% working...except time. I don't think she's fully committed and therefore not fully ready! As great as it would be to have her out of diapers asap, I don't think it's going to happen as fast as I'd like. We have a few problems here: #1...Kiera doesn't mind being wet. She could wear the same wet diaper all damn day...gross. We shall see, shall see, shall see :)

Getting into the Swing of Things :)

Yes, we're getting into the swing of things here in the McHugh house...I'm feeling so happy with the way things are going. Although every day is different and Kiera is learning the art of testing and stalling like a champ, we're doing very well!

Caitlin is an absolute delight and we all just want to eat her alive. If she cries it means something and we can usually figure it out...thank goodness. She's getting bigger and more alert by the day, smiling, cooing, interacting, I can't get enough of it.

Kiera is such a wonder. She's a typical two year old in every way. So cute, fun, and lively and then can be grouchy and defiant...she's a pistol! I can't get enough of how well she's forming sentences and recently asking, "why not, Mommy, why not?" I do a lot of "becauses" these days.

I'm having a slightly sad day, however. This morning I spent time with two of my very very good friends who both lost their moms quite recently and both anniversaries are this month....one tomorrow and one next week as a matter of fact. I had someone who used to be very close to me recently call my mom my "adopted mother" in every sentence they spoke. This hurt me to the core because she was never my "adopted mother", she was my mommy....just like I'm Kiera and Cate's mommy. Do you think they know or care that I carried them around in my person for 9 months? Absolutely not. But do they know that I'm the one who hugs and kisses them every day of their life, who gets them up in the morning and tucks them in at night, the one who kisses away every tear and soothes them back to feeling good when they hurt...that's a mom. And that's what we all miss about our moms...even now that we're in our 3os we all still need our moms to kiss, hug, take our tears away, and reassure us that it's all going to be ok. I'm eternally grateful that we have this friendship with empathy that only people who've lost their moms young would ever understand. We all wish that our moms were here for our children (and us) every single day...

I love being the mom of girls and I worry every day about having to leave them...it's irrational, but when you've lost your mom at 17, these are the thoughts you have. I always want them to feel and be safe. They are my heart, my soul, and the deepest parts of my being. I hope that they always know how very much I love them...just like my mom loved me each and every day of her short life...

Odds, Ends, and Then-Some...

Kiera is currently 26 months old and full of life! She's quite a character and knows more than I think we'd like her to know right now. Here are some things that she's doing:

• She can recognize a "K" anywhere and calls it "My K!"


• She can recite the ABCS and has memorized her Dr. Seuss ABC book to read to Cate.


• She pretty much knows how to spell her name thanks to "BINGO"...There was a Mommy who had a girl and Kiera was her name-o, K-I-E-R-A...you get the picture :)


• She's so helpful with Cate, bringing diapers, helping wipe her, helping give her a bath, hugs, and kisses.


• Currently her favorite movies are "Shrek" and "Monster's Inc." I LOVE it when she says, "Silly Monster!"


• She loves to color...thank GOD for Color Wonder markers and paper and aqua doodles...and can draw a circle.


• She recognizes all her shapes, including hexagons?!, and all her colors.


• She LOVES to dance and it's hysterical to watch!


• She loves to eat...Goldfish still being a fan favorite...Favorite veggie is broccoli and recently enjoyed edamame. Favorite fruits are strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, and mango. Still isn't thrilled with meat unless it's in the form of a nugget. We keep trying. Loves PBJs and waffles...can eat them at any time of day!

Here's a quick, What I've Learned in Five Weeks of Having a Two Year Old and Infant...

It was a piece of CAKE having just an infant when Kiera was born! CAKE! If I ever complained, said that we were having a rough day, or was overwhelmed, it's nothing compared to now :) It's THE best thing and the most exhausting all wrapped in one! And this is with Kiera being a great little girl who listens 89% of the time. It's not that it's necessarily hard, but it's just difficult juggling everyone. I'd LOVE to get outside and play, but Cate can't be in the sun and even when there's shade it's still HOT and she is the hottest child I've ever met! We've taken them to the beach, but it's generally 10ish degrees cooler there and I have Sean to help. When I'm home I feel like I'm often trapped in the house because to bring both of them out is a challenge...to say the least.

Bringing Kiera to her Pirate Party today was such a small breath of fresh air. Did I miss Cate, yes, but did I enjoy having time with my peanut, yes! And I remember bringing her to the beach every day I had free last year so she could play. I can't do that for her this summer. So it was so nice to pick up and go with her and spend the morning on the river in a pirate ship :)

Cate is One Month Old!

We cannot believe that one month has gone by so fast! We also can't remember what our life was like before we had two beautiful girls in it!



Caitlin has been the absolute perfect addition to our McHugh Crew. She is so precious and wonderful and adorable and GOOD! She's content and kind with these big dark blue eyes that you can swim in. She began smiling this week and if we didn't want to eat her alive before, we certainly do now :) She's cooing and interacting. She loves books and bright colors. Her head is getting stronger by the day and she's holding it up more and more. She also LOVES to be held...which can be difficult with a demanding two year old in the house.

It's sometimes easy to forget that she's still a newborn considering how big she is, but it just makes it easier to maneuver her about. She's already been to a Blueclaw's Game, the Boardwalk, the beach (twice), shopping on too many occasions, BBQs and parties. She's a seasoned traveler already.

Today we celebrated not only her one month day, but an early Daddy Daughter/Granddaughter day with Papa in Connecticut. Caitlin slept away most of the day and Kiera was a total crankstar due to not napping, but it was a lovely day none-the-less. She's an excellent car baby, as is Kiera since we invested in a DVD player for her...thank Christ...but Cate slept all the way there and all the way home...phew. Grandma and Papa spoiled them both rotten as well as Daddy and fed us to the gills...we had to be rolled out of there...great time had by all :)

I'm still balancing everything on a very flimsy tray, but we're getting better. Every day is different...which for a person with slight OCD isn't always the easiest to handle...but we're doing it. So what if Kiera has watched "Monsters Inc" so many times that she's memorized every line so that I can sit with Cate and feed her or clean the house or sit and stare into the oblivion for a moment. She'll live, right? And won't remember this part of Mommy getting it all together?!

The summer has only just begun and I'm hoping to have it into an OK routine by the beginning of July...we shall see...A few goals for the summer:

• Have Kiera potty trained by September.
• Get Cate into a crib and into Kiera's room.
• Get Kiera into a bed so that Cate can have a crib :)

And that's it. Everything else will just be icing on the cake. One of my very good friends, Molly, said that her friend, a mother of four, said, "Learn to lower your standards" and "It's a great day when no one visits the ER." And I say, "I'll drink to that!" So what if my house looks like a tornado blew through and the dishes are filling the sink and there's enough dog hair in clumps to make a new dog...we'll get through it with smiles, I hope...I'm sure a few tears too some days.

So, here's to Miss Cate growing up way too fast already! Happy One Month our Baby Girl!! xo

Balancing Act...Without a Net?!

I feel like I'm walking a tightrope with no protection under me recently...ok, when Kiera is here with me all day...and I feel like, "I should be able to do this more easily!! Other people do this with more children then two for Pete's sake!"

I think I overestimate how much I am able to do on so little sleep due to the size of Cate and how "good" I feel already. But I'm still trying to get into a feeding routine with Caitlin, which I feel is like every hour during the day. Plus, she, like Kiera, enjoys to be held all the time. I'm trying hard to put her down when she falls asleep so that she can get used to not being in my arms and so I can spend more time playing with Kiera. Not easy right now.

Today I decided to venture out in the backyard with both girls for literally one hour. Number one, it's hot as hell out there!! Kiera was sweating like a faucet...although she didn't mind at all, but I had to find a shady and cool spot for Cate, which in our yard is next to impossible! So I decided to get our beach tent from the garage. Kiera and I bring Cate inside, put her in her swing and head to the garage to get it...which alone takes 10 minutes with a toddler who wants to wear certain sandals outside, her sunglasses, and a hat...that mind you she WASN'T wearing out in the backyard, but must wear out to the front of the house...and then she dawdles picking flowers on the lawn...cute, yes, must get back inside, YES! After we get inside I pop out to the deck for ONE minute to open the tent and I come back in to Kiera swinging Caitlin like a crazy person in the swing! Holy Heart Attack! Cate, however, seemed to be enjoying it and actually wasn't crying anymore. Mommy wasn't quite as happy.

We successfully got the tent up in the backyard, Cate inside, and Kiera playing all around it like a monkey...fun :) However, once Kiera got bored with this she began a new game, the "climbing up and down the deck stairs" game. If you've ever been in my backyard, it's pretty big as backyards go in New Jersey. I put the tent up in the flat part of the yard all the way at the bottom of our property, so Kiera running up and down stairs when I needed to be close to Cate as well was not easy. Finally, I'd had enough and said that we were going in to have lunch. I told Kiera that I was going to get Cate and we were going in. I turn around to get Caitlin out of the tent and Kiera flops down two of the deck stairs...Holy Heart Attack! Thank goodness she didn't fall farther or faster because the bottom is a slab of concrete. Note to self: get a gate for the bottom of the deck stairs.

I babysat for years and years and years!! The last families that I sat for had four and five children! Including babies in each family and toddlers...have I lost my touch completely?? I feel like I should be able to do this with ease, yet I'm having these issues three weeks in??!! And the whole summer lies ahead of me...holy moly.

Please think of me and send me positive thoughts...I'm nervous :)

Caitlin Maria McHugh

Caitlin is here!! She's a smidge over two weeks old and we're loving every second of her being here...even the sleepless nights (how easily you forget how hard those were!).

Here's the story of her arrival to our family...

I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, May 13th at 11:00. I was frustrated because I was three days overdue and was READY to have her with us. The doctor said that I was 2 1/2 cm dilated and knew that she would come any day. He decided to strip my membranes which hurt like HELL, but sent me into some really nice contractions about an hour later.

I called Rae Ann and told her to come over after work to be here for the night just in case I needed to go to the hospital and thank goodness I did. Sean and I decided to sleep a little from 10-12:45am when I woke up with some major pain and we decided it was time to get on the road. Our hospital was only five minutes away this time, so I felt comfortable waiting a bit before we went. They weren't busy at all, got us right in and I was hooked up to all the monitors by 2:15am, measuring at 4cm and ready to get the party started. At 3:00am I got the glorious, lifesaving, fabulous epidural (thank Christ for the person who invented those!).

I was totally relaxed and having an awesome time for about an hour when I felt some horrific pressure and we knew it was just about time to push. They measured me again and I was 8cm...it was time to call the doctor in to set up. Dr. Alexander was the doctor on call...this beautiful Heidi Klum look alike who had given birth to three children herself and you would never know. She put on a shield and boots up to her knees...would I be that messy??!! lol

At 4:34 I was ready to start pushing...now let me preface this by reminding those of you who read this how overwhelmingly tired and uncomfortable I was this entire pregnancy...we would soon know why...I pushed through two contractions and out she popped! Ten minutes flat, thank you very much :) And she was HUGE!!! 9 lbs 13 oz 21 in!! Holy moly! How I carried her around, I will never know. Not only that, but we were "expecting" a blond child and she came out with a full head of dark dark dark hair!! Wow...just gorgeous and cheeks that went on for days and days, but quite a shock!

She is 100% healthy and is currently weighing in at a nice 10 lbs 1 oz. She's perfect and adorable and the perfect addition to our family. Kiera came to the hospital twice when we were there and loved her up then and is loving her up here at home. She has been such a great big sister...helping with diapers, patting her back to burp her and giving lots of hugs and kisses. The funniest thing is when she watches me pump and wants to do so herself. I'm not sure she'd really enjoy that :)

We're adjusting to being a family of four slowly but surely. Sean's mom, Mom-Mom was here for over a week and it was a godsend. She played with and entertained Kiera every day for hours while I became acclimated with my new schedule. Caitlin has been doing well recently with her nightly feedings, going about every three hours from 11pm on, so that's nice. But in the beginning she would go through spurts of every hour which was SO hard on me! Sean is GREAT and gets up to change her diaper and hand her over, but when you choose to breastfeed, it's all mommy all the time :) Thank goodness for some excellent middle of the night infomercials!

I'm looking forward to writing all about Miss Cate in the coming months...and continuing with more Kiera Khaos...the McHugh Mamas are both here and I'm ready for the journey of being a Mommy of Two!

Today is my Due Date...

and nothing is happening! Blech. I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated because I'm so tired, uncomfortable, hormonal, and done done done! I can't sit comfortably because there are feet in my ribs that make it hard to breathe. I have pains in my legs that feel like pinched nerves and my calves are now itchy with tingling?! I don't know what that might be! I can't sleep properly and have to pee every two hours. I have such a hard time picking Kiera up and when she wants to snuggle on my lap, I can't!! :( Plus, I've been having braxton hicks contractions that are doing nothing but causing complete annoyances. I feel sad and I know that I need to just relax and let "nature take it's course" but I'm just not one of those people. I thought we'd have her by now...or at least today...and I could move on with the next phase of my healing...but alas, no. I'm going to order a pepperoni pizza tonight because that's what did it for my sister Danielle. I have 10 hours left in the day...here's to hoping!

One Hell of a Week (and a half)

I find it ironic that I wrote on my first day of maternity leave when everything was "normal" and then everything went downhill from there...I took these two weeks off before the due date #1 to get everything done that hasn't been and #2 to REST. Work KILLED me near the end. My ankles were swollen, everything hurt, and I was EXHAUSTED! But alas, I haven't gotten everything done in the manner that I'd like as well as definitely not rested. Mind you, Sean, thankfully has been working for a new company, but doesn't get home until after 6...so by that time I am ready to collapse!

Last Tuesday I kept Kiera home for her JcPenney pictures...which she was COMPLETELY uncooperative for. Thank God Aunt Rae Rae came with us or I wouldn't have survived. After two hours we finally got THREE pictures out of her. Blech. But the ones we did get were cute, so que sera sera. While sitting on the couch having a nice leisurely lunch with Rae Ann, Jenn called to let me know that she would not be taking children for the next two days because her son had a stomach virus. Fabulous. Fabulous. FABULOUS! Hence, Kdog was home for Wednesday and Thursday as well. Please don't get me wrong, I WANT to spend time with the peanut alone while I still can, and I had days planned for that, but I had things to do like run around which is hard to do without lugging a two year old with me who has learned how to say, "Mommy, I want to go home!" in every store we enter.

On Friday we reluctantly sent her back to Jenn's because I know how stomach viruses can linger, and hence, Saturday night at 2:07am, Kiera awoke and threw up hot dog all over her crib. *sigh* She threw up religiously until around 5am when we all passed out in our bed and then awoke to vomit around 7:45am. Poor thing would look up at us with sad puppy dog eyes, not crying, but saying, "why is this happening?!" with her face. It broke our hearts! Needless to say she was a mess all day and we felt so sad for her.

The last time she threw up was 10:30am, then she napped for 3 hours and got up with a better outlook. However, after pedialyte at 5:30, she ran about and threw up again at 6:45...so we kept her home on Monday. She slept from 8pm-10:30am! She was so lethargic and rested on the couch most of the day...and then she and I took a three hour nap in my bed...so that was nice :) But, we decided to send her to Jenn's the following day because she seemed much better by bedtime and slept through the night successfully again.

When Sean left for work on Tuesday I felt like CRAP. I hadn't eaten right the day before due to Kiera not eating properly, so I thought it was that, but alas, NO...I dropped Kiera off at Jenn's late and she ended up having diarrhea within the first hour and a half. Again, *sigh*... I had just gotten home and thrown up...oy vey. I couldn't get off the couch to even go and get her...I was so dizzy and seeing things in my peripheral vision, so Sean had to come home and get her. I felt awful! Enough's enough!! Within 12 hours I was feeling a bit better, but now I'm even more tired and run down then ever.

THEN...because honestly, we didn't have enough, Jenn was sick today, so Kiera was home again!! And we think she's going to be home tomorrow too because she still has some remnants of the diarrhea and she REALLY needs to get better before Cate arrives!!

I went to the doctor's today and nothing has changed, still one cm...which I'm actually grateful about. I cannot have this poor little baby and bring her into this tomb. I feel like taking Clorox and dousing the entire house with it! I cleaned the downstairs toilet every single time I even looked at it yesterday and sprayed everything I could with Lysol every chance I got...but it still feels unclean! Plus, I don't want anyone coming into our house to help us with Kiera if I were to go into labor because chances are, they'll get sick too!! So now I really need a day or two to clean and disinfect the whole house before Caitlin's entrance to the world...I'm a touch overwhelmed.

Right now the excitement and anticipation has turned into anxiety and trepidation. What I'm hoping is that Cate stays in until Monday...her due date...that would be 7 days after Kiera originally had the bug and hopefully I can get the house spic and span by then!! Cross fingers for the McHughs...especially my wonderful Sean who needs to remain at full healthy capacity for us to survive!!

OH...and PS...the downstairs toilet just overflowed...Oh joyous day.

First Official Day of Maternity Leave!

We're getting all prepped and ready for Miss Caitlin's arrival...as
ready as I think we'll ever be! There actually wasn't too much to do...knowing that she is (hopefully) a girl has been very helpful :)

We did all the laundry over Spring Break and Sean had put in a new closet organizer in January. They both have more clothes than any small person should. We also washed all the bouncy seat covers, boppies, play mats and blankets...SO...we shall see if I forgot anything when she arrives :)

We have the bassinet ready, but haven't put it up yet. The first time we did, Kiera 100% believed that it was hers...uh oh! So we've had it folded away until Cate gets here and hopefully once Kiera sees her in there she'll get it. My friend Maureen had borrowed one of our bouncy seats and returned it recently...Kiera climbed in it and fell out on her face...she didn't like that ONE bit and hasn't climbed in it since. Therefore, we're hoping the bouncy seat issue won't be too much of an issue at all.

I've written this before, but I really wish we had another bedroom upstairs so that Cate could be in her own room like Kiera was from night ONE...but that's not to be the case. Eventually, they will share a room, but for a while Caitlin will be in our room *sigh*. I don't love it, we don't love it, but that's the way it has to be, so that's the way it will be. Aunt Rae Rae has asked 1000 times where the bassinet is so she can set it up when Cate arrives...

It reminds me so much of the night Sean and I went into the hospital with Kiera. I was in the living room setting up the pack-n-play when my dad called frantic saying that he was driving Camille crazy with his pacing, so he was just coming down until we had the baby. He said he would be more comfortable being here instead of there...it made me feel SO good...but I told him to stay put so he wouldn't be pacing here :) Those of you who know my dad know that he's the kind of man who can make coffee nervous...so we all (including him) decided to keep him up there...until the next morning when Kiera arrived. haha. I think he will be a little calmer this time, he's a pro now.

So other than a few last minute purchases with the help of many gift cards from so many generous friends and kids, we will be (sort of) ready! YEA!

I have a doctor's appointment today...we'll see if anything's changed. Then Kiera and I have an appointment for our bangs to be cut. Tomorrow Aunt Rae Rae and I are taking Kiera to JcPenney for her 2 year old pictures...please remind yourselves of her 1 year post last year where I swore I wouldn't do this again (except maybe her birthday, soooo...). Tomorrow should be exhausting :) But otherwise, she's going to Jen's most days so I can finish up here and rest! She'll be home for over two weeks in May due to Jen's vacation and Mom Mom being here for over a week from Wisconsin, so for me to get a little feet up time between now and then should be helpful.

Off I go...

Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy

I wanted to take just a minute to put in writing how lucky I am to be married to Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy. I'm often "complaining" about how much I miss my Mom and how very different things would be if she were here, which they would! But, over 14 years ago, when God took her from my life, she began working on sending me an angel here on Earth, and that was Sean for sure.

I have NEVER met anyone with so much patience, compassion, fun, helpfulness, and love. He is a true family man who, even at the lowest of times, holds us all together in a way that only he can. I never thought I'd find someone who could balance me out...and then there he was. Always with such a kind understanding of my changing moods and craziness :) He's amazing.

Especially now that I'm only twoish weeks away from giving birth to our second child, he has upped his game, if that's even possible! He's doing everything for our family...cooking, cleaning, keeping up with Kiera alone since I can't :) We're usually such a good tag-team, but I just can't get up fast enough now (hahaha). Let me give him some more credit on the cooking though...he has always been our main cook...and especially since I was first pregnant with Kiera and couldn't even look at food...he started cooking every night and it stuck...phew...because I can do without cooking any day :)

They say in books that children love their parents in different ways and look to them for what they need/want from them. Kiera most certainly knows that Sean is her playmate! "Come on Daddy, Come on!" They roll around on the floor, play outside in and out of the playhouse (constantly...I don't know how he does it, maybe I will when I don't have a medicine ball attached to my stomach), they chase each other around the house like crazy people laughing like hyenas, she makes him hide in the closet with her and then they pop out. It's too much!

I would so much rather have both Sean and my Mommy...she would have been running around right along side of them...she was AMAZING and would be thrilled with having two granddaughters, more than anyone could imagine...but if I can't have them both, I'm eternally grateful for the angel she sent down to look over me on a daily basis. I couldn't do any of this without him and can't imagine not having him by my side. Kiera and Cate are THE luckiest little girls in the world!

Kiera is TWO Today!

Kiera Rita turned TWO years old today! We can't believe that two years managed to slip through our fingers so quickly. It's, once again, showing us how very fast life it going to pass us by.

We had a lovely day...very relaxing. Uncle Jimmy came up from Cape May to spend the morning and afternoon with us, then Aunt Rae Rae spent the late afternoon with us. She's a very lucky little lady.

Saturday...well our little gathering is over, and I'm once again, exhausted! It's amazing how stressful a throw-it-together-at-the-last-minute-get-together can be! We decided very late to throw together a tiny fiesta for Miss K. My motherless daughters girls were on me about what we were going to do for her, so we decided a little dinner and cake might just be in order. We actually didn't even speak to Sean's brothers about it until last Sunday...we stink! Poor Kiera...but it was nice and the kids ran around like crazy people...Kiera was up until 9 and got up on Sunday morning at 5:45!! What the??!!

Kiera is more than we could have ever asked for in life. She is so spunky and opinionated and brilliant and lively and thrilling and adorable...and it can go on and on. She's the most beautiful person I've ever known and can't wait to know her even better as the years go on.

On Friday we were laying in my bed reading a book and she looks up at me and says, "I love you Mommy." Melt my freaking heart!! I can't handle things like that preggers or not!! I could not ask for anything more.

Some days I feel so guilty for having another baby so close to her age. Has she gotten enough time being #1? Will she feel sad most days that Cate is here? Will I be able to give her the attention that she needs? Will I have enough time in the day to give them both the attention that they need? How on Earth can I love someone as much as I love her?! I know from other people that all of this is normal and that you "just do", but I can't stand how much I love her and I never want to take anything away from her...or the new peanut. It's so hard!

But the next year of her life will be filled with change and excitement and big sister duties (that she didn't sign up for!) and hopefully a ton of love, fun, and family. She even has another new cousin coming in August...so she'll be surrounded by new babies to love.

Here's to our baby girl's third year of life. We couldn't love her any more than we do now! Happy Happy Birthday our Angel!