End of Summer...Beginning of Work

I began work last week and the girls have adjusted perfectly to our new routine. They LOVE Jaime and Kiera will ask for her and her son, Luke, when she's not with them! We're so happy and feel so at ease knowing that they're in the best hands during the day when we can't be with them.

This past weekend we headed on down to Lewes, Delaware to see my friend and her family for the weekend. Her mom gave us use of her amazing condo so that we'd have plenty of room to spread out...and God knows, we did!! I cannot express the fun we had there. It was such a nice change of pace to be out of New Jersey with our family and have a mini-vaca with great friends! Our girls are all the same age...so it's THE BEST! Kiera and Mia are 6 weeks apart and Cate and Mikaela are 3 months apart. To see them together was amazing. Kiera and Mia played and played and played. We put Cate and Mikaela in the same pack-n-play at the beach and they were all over each other...it was ADORABLE!! Sean and John are kindred spirits and enjoyed some male bonding over grills, fire pits, tents, boats, and the huge clam bake they set up for us all to eat on Sunday night. We were so sad to leave. I know that I speak for both of us when I say that I'm SO glad the girls have "cousins" to grow up with!

In fact we've been so blessed with all the births this past year for our girls. Cate has so many freaking people to play with she won't know what to do with herself and Kiera gets to be a big sister to so many...it's great. I'm from a very small family with few cousins my age, so this is simply thrilling for me to have people with babies so close in age to our children. Our girls are super lucky!

The Summer is Coming to a Close

The worst thing about the summer is that it has to come to an end sometime.

For us, this summer has certainly been an adventure! It's been THE hottest summer I can ever remember and we had the most beautifully hot child for it. Cate has been everywhere and then some, much more than we ever did with Kiera, but we definitely had to limit our outdoor activities because of the oppressive heat.

I feel so blessed to have had this time with the girls and am looking forward to next summer even more. I go back and forth with feelings of sadness to return to work and feelings of excitement. I love and NEED my job for us to stay afloat and therefore, there must be some feeling of excitement or I'll go crazy. My very wise friend, Molly, said that she thinks it's important for me to stay true to myself and that it's great for the girls to see a strong working mom who does things not only for them, but for herself as well...and I add, to stay sane. As usual, she's right. Besides, being stuck in these four walls all days makes me kind of kooky...and I get stressed that the house isn't clean or that the laundry isn't done. When I'm at work, I don't care. And when we all come home at the end of the day, I still don't care! I just cherish the time we have together in the evenings and look forward to the weekends.

Anyway, onwards. Cate is three months old already and just the sweetest child there is. I'm nervous about her commitment to the bottle in the next few weeks, but I'm sure, just like Kiera, she'll get the hang of it...or starve...we shall see :) She's the happiest, most content, loving child with this soul that I can only hope came from the best parts of my mom up there. When she looks at you it's like she's looking into you. She's amazing. She's just started rolling over and she constantly wants to sit up. When you have her on her back she lifts her neck as far as it can go as if to say, "I'm missing something, I know I am!" We're in trouble there! She's a great sleeper and most nights gives me the whole night...last night was an 8-6 night! Woo Hoo! She has her doctor's appointment on Wednesday, so we don't know how much she currently is, but she seems to be getting longer rather than chubbier...but still has THE best thighs! *Squeeze* I don't know what we ever did without her!!

Kiera is a canon and most of the time I LOVE IT! She definitely has her moments of defiance, but is generally such a sweet, good and fun fun fun two year old! My favorite parts of the day are when she comes up to me and gives me a hug and a kiss and says that she loves me; when she's so sticky sweet to Cate and gives her hugs and kisses...and also says things to her that I say to her which makes me laugh. The things that come out of her mouth in general are hysterical! The other morning she sat on the couch, looked at Sean and I dancing around each other in the kitchen trying to get everything ready for the day and said as serious as can be, "Ummm....waffles?!" Like we were not meeting her needs and she needed them met immediately. Too much.

The sleeping situation with the two of them has proved to be brilliant. If I need to get Cate while Kiera is still sleeping, she may wake up for a moment, but goes right back down. Naps are still sort of tricky because they're not on the same schedule yet...but right now they're both up there snoozing away.

Potty training is going, but not going as fast as I had hoped. All I can say, again, is that I think she's just not ready. She LOVES to go on the potty and gets SO excited when she does...her face lights up like fireworks! But then she could sit in a wet diaper, underwear or puddle all day long and think NOTHING of it. Ick.

Yesterday I began thinking, again, how much my mom would have loved these girls. It's such a shame and puts such a strange damper on things almost daily for me. Having your mom die at such a young age inevitably makes you think of your own mortality and I find myself praying to a God that I don't even think I know since she died and hoping that "he" doesn't take me too early too! Because I could really really really use my mom every day...if not for just a ten minute conversation here and there...*sigh* False hopes. It also makes me think how lucky the girls are right now to not know that there is such sadness out there...they have Mommy and Daddy and they feel safe. If they cry, we're there, if they fall, we pick them up. I would imagine it's a wonderful feeling to have. One that me and many of my friends don't have anymore. I was talking to my friend Lozelle last night and we were chatting about some of these things and she said that she sometimes has to ask, "what is the lesson that I'm supposed to learn from this?!" And she's so right. What is it that the heavens are trying to teach us by taking away someone that we love so deeply and NEED so very much?! I'm NOT a stronger person because of this and my children's Grandma was taken. It sucks. Period.

I just let my thoughts and fingers do the writing my friends...sorry :)

Anyway, my family of four is doing stupendously. I'm so excited to see what the future holds in store. Every time Kiera slams the door in play I wonder what it will be like in 12 years when I'm taking the door off the hinges after she slams it in anger :) I'm so in love with my husband, beautiful girls, and life. We are certainly blessed.

Two Months Old...and Almost 27 Months Old :)

Wow...our McHugh mamas are growing up way too fast!! I'm the saddest person thinking that this will be the last baby that I hold to my chest who fits there...but it most certainly will be :)

Cate is growing with leaps and bounds, cooing, following people and objects, loves to look out at the world and observe, sleeping 100% through the night in her crib in Kiera's room (woo hoo!), and is just the sweetest soul! I can't get enough of staring into her deep blue eyes that go on forever. She's just amazing.

Kiera is full of life and is such a fun little girl. She's definitely going through a "mine" phase and is very good at being demanding, but we can usually turn it around. We've been going on many outings to the library for stories and crafts, playing in the pool and around the yard...but most days these summer we've been stuck in the house because of the overwhelmingly oppressive heat!! We're roasting here in the shade.

**I started this on the 13th and it's taken me this long to get back to it...it's now Monday, July 26**

The biggest change right now has been putting Kiera into her own "big girl bed" and putting Cate in the room with her. It's been such a huge success! I'm thrilled!! I was SO worried and it all came together beautifully. Kiera LOVES her bed and climbs right in at night and at nap time and stays there until I come and get her. She's always been an amazing sleeper, so let's just hope this keeps up. Caitlin has been sleeping in her crib for a little over a week now (I think, the days blend). It's been great so far. There was one day that I had to get her at 4am and Kiera heard me come in, but went right back to sleep after I took Cate out. Phew. The biggest "problem" I have with Caitlin and her sleep has been that she weasels her way into the corners of the bed and wakes herself up. So I have to start her all the way down at the very end of the bed at night and by the morning she's all the way up in the front wedged into the corner...we got breathable bumpers for just that reason for her. It's been working out nicely :) So we're thrilled!

Now onto potty training...an area that I have no idea what I'm doing...there are so many, and this is certainly one of them. She's very interested in the potty and usually goes at least once a day, but to get her to go every time she needs to go has been a challenge! I've read about different techniques, rewards, etc. and nothing seems to be 100% working...except time. I don't think she's fully committed and therefore not fully ready! As great as it would be to have her out of diapers asap, I don't think it's going to happen as fast as I'd like. We have a few problems here: #1...Kiera doesn't mind being wet. She could wear the same wet diaper all damn day...gross. We shall see, shall see, shall see :)

Getting into the Swing of Things :)

Yes, we're getting into the swing of things here in the McHugh house...I'm feeling so happy with the way things are going. Although every day is different and Kiera is learning the art of testing and stalling like a champ, we're doing very well!

Caitlin is an absolute delight and we all just want to eat her alive. If she cries it means something and we can usually figure it out...thank goodness. She's getting bigger and more alert by the day, smiling, cooing, interacting, I can't get enough of it.

Kiera is such a wonder. She's a typical two year old in every way. So cute, fun, and lively and then can be grouchy and defiant...she's a pistol! I can't get enough of how well she's forming sentences and recently asking, "why not, Mommy, why not?" I do a lot of "becauses" these days.

I'm having a slightly sad day, however. This morning I spent time with two of my very very good friends who both lost their moms quite recently and both anniversaries are this month....one tomorrow and one next week as a matter of fact. I had someone who used to be very close to me recently call my mom my "adopted mother" in every sentence they spoke. This hurt me to the core because she was never my "adopted mother", she was my mommy....just like I'm Kiera and Cate's mommy. Do you think they know or care that I carried them around in my person for 9 months? Absolutely not. But do they know that I'm the one who hugs and kisses them every day of their life, who gets them up in the morning and tucks them in at night, the one who kisses away every tear and soothes them back to feeling good when they hurt...that's a mom. And that's what we all miss about our moms...even now that we're in our 3os we all still need our moms to kiss, hug, take our tears away, and reassure us that it's all going to be ok. I'm eternally grateful that we have this friendship with empathy that only people who've lost their moms young would ever understand. We all wish that our moms were here for our children (and us) every single day...

I love being the mom of girls and I worry every day about having to leave them...it's irrational, but when you've lost your mom at 17, these are the thoughts you have. I always want them to feel and be safe. They are my heart, my soul, and the deepest parts of my being. I hope that they always know how very much I love them...just like my mom loved me each and every day of her short life...

Odds, Ends, and Then-Some...

Kiera is currently 26 months old and full of life! She's quite a character and knows more than I think we'd like her to know right now. Here are some things that she's doing:

• She can recognize a "K" anywhere and calls it "My K!"


• She can recite the ABCS and has memorized her Dr. Seuss ABC book to read to Cate.


• She pretty much knows how to spell her name thanks to "BINGO"...There was a Mommy who had a girl and Kiera was her name-o, K-I-E-R-A...you get the picture :)


• She's so helpful with Cate, bringing diapers, helping wipe her, helping give her a bath, hugs, and kisses.


• Currently her favorite movies are "Shrek" and "Monster's Inc." I LOVE it when she says, "Silly Monster!"


• She loves to color...thank GOD for Color Wonder markers and paper and aqua doodles...and can draw a circle.


• She recognizes all her shapes, including hexagons?!, and all her colors.


• She LOVES to dance and it's hysterical to watch!


• She loves to eat...Goldfish still being a fan favorite...Favorite veggie is broccoli and recently enjoyed edamame. Favorite fruits are strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, and mango. Still isn't thrilled with meat unless it's in the form of a nugget. We keep trying. Loves PBJs and waffles...can eat them at any time of day!

Here's a quick, What I've Learned in Five Weeks of Having a Two Year Old and Infant...

It was a piece of CAKE having just an infant when Kiera was born! CAKE! If I ever complained, said that we were having a rough day, or was overwhelmed, it's nothing compared to now :) It's THE best thing and the most exhausting all wrapped in one! And this is with Kiera being a great little girl who listens 89% of the time. It's not that it's necessarily hard, but it's just difficult juggling everyone. I'd LOVE to get outside and play, but Cate can't be in the sun and even when there's shade it's still HOT and she is the hottest child I've ever met! We've taken them to the beach, but it's generally 10ish degrees cooler there and I have Sean to help. When I'm home I feel like I'm often trapped in the house because to bring both of them out is a challenge...to say the least.

Bringing Kiera to her Pirate Party today was such a small breath of fresh air. Did I miss Cate, yes, but did I enjoy having time with my peanut, yes! And I remember bringing her to the beach every day I had free last year so she could play. I can't do that for her this summer. So it was so nice to pick up and go with her and spend the morning on the river in a pirate ship :)

Cate is One Month Old!

We cannot believe that one month has gone by so fast! We also can't remember what our life was like before we had two beautiful girls in it!



Caitlin has been the absolute perfect addition to our McHugh Crew. She is so precious and wonderful and adorable and GOOD! She's content and kind with these big dark blue eyes that you can swim in. She began smiling this week and if we didn't want to eat her alive before, we certainly do now :) She's cooing and interacting. She loves books and bright colors. Her head is getting stronger by the day and she's holding it up more and more. She also LOVES to be held...which can be difficult with a demanding two year old in the house.

It's sometimes easy to forget that she's still a newborn considering how big she is, but it just makes it easier to maneuver her about. She's already been to a Blueclaw's Game, the Boardwalk, the beach (twice), shopping on too many occasions, BBQs and parties. She's a seasoned traveler already.

Today we celebrated not only her one month day, but an early Daddy Daughter/Granddaughter day with Papa in Connecticut. Caitlin slept away most of the day and Kiera was a total crankstar due to not napping, but it was a lovely day none-the-less. She's an excellent car baby, as is Kiera since we invested in a DVD player for her...thank Christ...but Cate slept all the way there and all the way home...phew. Grandma and Papa spoiled them both rotten as well as Daddy and fed us to the gills...we had to be rolled out of there...great time had by all :)

I'm still balancing everything on a very flimsy tray, but we're getting better. Every day is different...which for a person with slight OCD isn't always the easiest to handle...but we're doing it. So what if Kiera has watched "Monsters Inc" so many times that she's memorized every line so that I can sit with Cate and feed her or clean the house or sit and stare into the oblivion for a moment. She'll live, right? And won't remember this part of Mommy getting it all together?!

The summer has only just begun and I'm hoping to have it into an OK routine by the beginning of July...we shall see...A few goals for the summer:

• Have Kiera potty trained by September.
• Get Cate into a crib and into Kiera's room.
• Get Kiera into a bed so that Cate can have a crib :)

And that's it. Everything else will just be icing on the cake. One of my very good friends, Molly, said that her friend, a mother of four, said, "Learn to lower your standards" and "It's a great day when no one visits the ER." And I say, "I'll drink to that!" So what if my house looks like a tornado blew through and the dishes are filling the sink and there's enough dog hair in clumps to make a new dog...we'll get through it with smiles, I hope...I'm sure a few tears too some days.

So, here's to Miss Cate growing up way too fast already! Happy One Month our Baby Girl!! xo

Balancing Act...Without a Net?!

I feel like I'm walking a tightrope with no protection under me recently...ok, when Kiera is here with me all day...and I feel like, "I should be able to do this more easily!! Other people do this with more children then two for Pete's sake!"

I think I overestimate how much I am able to do on so little sleep due to the size of Cate and how "good" I feel already. But I'm still trying to get into a feeding routine with Caitlin, which I feel is like every hour during the day. Plus, she, like Kiera, enjoys to be held all the time. I'm trying hard to put her down when she falls asleep so that she can get used to not being in my arms and so I can spend more time playing with Kiera. Not easy right now.

Today I decided to venture out in the backyard with both girls for literally one hour. Number one, it's hot as hell out there!! Kiera was sweating like a faucet...although she didn't mind at all, but I had to find a shady and cool spot for Cate, which in our yard is next to impossible! So I decided to get our beach tent from the garage. Kiera and I bring Cate inside, put her in her swing and head to the garage to get it...which alone takes 10 minutes with a toddler who wants to wear certain sandals outside, her sunglasses, and a hat...that mind you she WASN'T wearing out in the backyard, but must wear out to the front of the house...and then she dawdles picking flowers on the lawn...cute, yes, must get back inside, YES! After we get inside I pop out to the deck for ONE minute to open the tent and I come back in to Kiera swinging Caitlin like a crazy person in the swing! Holy Heart Attack! Cate, however, seemed to be enjoying it and actually wasn't crying anymore. Mommy wasn't quite as happy.

We successfully got the tent up in the backyard, Cate inside, and Kiera playing all around it like a monkey...fun :) However, once Kiera got bored with this she began a new game, the "climbing up and down the deck stairs" game. If you've ever been in my backyard, it's pretty big as backyards go in New Jersey. I put the tent up in the flat part of the yard all the way at the bottom of our property, so Kiera running up and down stairs when I needed to be close to Cate as well was not easy. Finally, I'd had enough and said that we were going in to have lunch. I told Kiera that I was going to get Cate and we were going in. I turn around to get Caitlin out of the tent and Kiera flops down two of the deck stairs...Holy Heart Attack! Thank goodness she didn't fall farther or faster because the bottom is a slab of concrete. Note to self: get a gate for the bottom of the deck stairs.

I babysat for years and years and years!! The last families that I sat for had four and five children! Including babies in each family and toddlers...have I lost my touch completely?? I feel like I should be able to do this with ease, yet I'm having these issues three weeks in??!! And the whole summer lies ahead of me...holy moly.

Please think of me and send me positive thoughts...I'm nervous :)