First Official Day of Maternity Leave!

We're getting all prepped and ready for Miss Caitlin's arrival...as
ready as I think we'll ever be! There actually wasn't too much to do...knowing that she is (hopefully) a girl has been very helpful :)

We did all the laundry over Spring Break and Sean had put in a new closet organizer in January. They both have more clothes than any small person should. We also washed all the bouncy seat covers, boppies, play mats and blankets...SO...we shall see if I forgot anything when she arrives :)

We have the bassinet ready, but haven't put it up yet. The first time we did, Kiera 100% believed that it was hers...uh oh! So we've had it folded away until Cate gets here and hopefully once Kiera sees her in there she'll get it. My friend Maureen had borrowed one of our bouncy seats and returned it recently...Kiera climbed in it and fell out on her face...she didn't like that ONE bit and hasn't climbed in it since. Therefore, we're hoping the bouncy seat issue won't be too much of an issue at all.

I've written this before, but I really wish we had another bedroom upstairs so that Cate could be in her own room like Kiera was from night ONE...but that's not to be the case. Eventually, they will share a room, but for a while Caitlin will be in our room *sigh*. I don't love it, we don't love it, but that's the way it has to be, so that's the way it will be. Aunt Rae Rae has asked 1000 times where the bassinet is so she can set it up when Cate arrives...

It reminds me so much of the night Sean and I went into the hospital with Kiera. I was in the living room setting up the pack-n-play when my dad called frantic saying that he was driving Camille crazy with his pacing, so he was just coming down until we had the baby. He said he would be more comfortable being here instead of there...it made me feel SO good...but I told him to stay put so he wouldn't be pacing here :) Those of you who know my dad know that he's the kind of man who can make coffee nervous...so we all (including him) decided to keep him up there...until the next morning when Kiera arrived. haha. I think he will be a little calmer this time, he's a pro now.

So other than a few last minute purchases with the help of many gift cards from so many generous friends and kids, we will be (sort of) ready! YEA!

I have a doctor's appointment today...we'll see if anything's changed. Then Kiera and I have an appointment for our bangs to be cut. Tomorrow Aunt Rae Rae and I are taking Kiera to JcPenney for her 2 year old pictures...please remind yourselves of her 1 year post last year where I swore I wouldn't do this again (except maybe her birthday, soooo...). Tomorrow should be exhausting :) But otherwise, she's going to Jen's most days so I can finish up here and rest! She'll be home for over two weeks in May due to Jen's vacation and Mom Mom being here for over a week from Wisconsin, so for me to get a little feet up time between now and then should be helpful.

Off I go...

Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy

I wanted to take just a minute to put in writing how lucky I am to be married to Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy. I'm often "complaining" about how much I miss my Mom and how very different things would be if she were here, which they would! But, over 14 years ago, when God took her from my life, she began working on sending me an angel here on Earth, and that was Sean for sure.

I have NEVER met anyone with so much patience, compassion, fun, helpfulness, and love. He is a true family man who, even at the lowest of times, holds us all together in a way that only he can. I never thought I'd find someone who could balance me out...and then there he was. Always with such a kind understanding of my changing moods and craziness :) He's amazing.

Especially now that I'm only twoish weeks away from giving birth to our second child, he has upped his game, if that's even possible! He's doing everything for our family...cooking, cleaning, keeping up with Kiera alone since I can't :) We're usually such a good tag-team, but I just can't get up fast enough now (hahaha). Let me give him some more credit on the cooking though...he has always been our main cook...and especially since I was first pregnant with Kiera and couldn't even look at food...he started cooking every night and it stuck...phew...because I can do without cooking any day :)

They say in books that children love their parents in different ways and look to them for what they need/want from them. Kiera most certainly knows that Sean is her playmate! "Come on Daddy, Come on!" They roll around on the floor, play outside in and out of the playhouse (constantly...I don't know how he does it, maybe I will when I don't have a medicine ball attached to my stomach), they chase each other around the house like crazy people laughing like hyenas, she makes him hide in the closet with her and then they pop out. It's too much!

I would so much rather have both Sean and my Mommy...she would have been running around right along side of them...she was AMAZING and would be thrilled with having two granddaughters, more than anyone could imagine...but if I can't have them both, I'm eternally grateful for the angel she sent down to look over me on a daily basis. I couldn't do any of this without him and can't imagine not having him by my side. Kiera and Cate are THE luckiest little girls in the world!

Kiera is TWO Today!

Kiera Rita turned TWO years old today! We can't believe that two years managed to slip through our fingers so quickly. It's, once again, showing us how very fast life it going to pass us by.

We had a lovely day...very relaxing. Uncle Jimmy came up from Cape May to spend the morning and afternoon with us, then Aunt Rae Rae spent the late afternoon with us. She's a very lucky little lady.

Saturday...well our little gathering is over, and I'm once again, exhausted! It's amazing how stressful a throw-it-together-at-the-last-minute-get-together can be! We decided very late to throw together a tiny fiesta for Miss K. My motherless daughters girls were on me about what we were going to do for her, so we decided a little dinner and cake might just be in order. We actually didn't even speak to Sean's brothers about it until last Sunday...we stink! Poor Kiera...but it was nice and the kids ran around like crazy people...Kiera was up until 9 and got up on Sunday morning at 5:45!! What the??!!

Kiera is more than we could have ever asked for in life. She is so spunky and opinionated and brilliant and lively and thrilling and adorable...and it can go on and on. She's the most beautiful person I've ever known and can't wait to know her even better as the years go on.

On Friday we were laying in my bed reading a book and she looks up at me and says, "I love you Mommy." Melt my freaking heart!! I can't handle things like that preggers or not!! I could not ask for anything more.

Some days I feel so guilty for having another baby so close to her age. Has she gotten enough time being #1? Will she feel sad most days that Cate is here? Will I be able to give her the attention that she needs? Will I have enough time in the day to give them both the attention that they need? How on Earth can I love someone as much as I love her?! I know from other people that all of this is normal and that you "just do", but I can't stand how much I love her and I never want to take anything away from her...or the new peanut. It's so hard!

But the next year of her life will be filled with change and excitement and big sister duties (that she didn't sign up for!) and hopefully a ton of love, fun, and family. She even has another new cousin coming in August...so she'll be surrounded by new babies to love.

Here's to our baby girl's third year of life. We couldn't love her any more than we do now! Happy Happy Birthday our Angel!

Tough Mommy Day

"I am tired" would be an understatement. I am sore, sore, sore too! I never felt like this with Kiera, so it's a whole new world right now. My inner thighs feel like I've been at the gym for days on end! I can't maneuver or play with Kiera properly and that's all she wants :( Honestly, walking during this pregnancy is a serious issue in itself....the doctor's words to me, "Second Pregnancy" and I correct with..."Last Pregnancy!!!! Thank you."

I'm having a Tough Mommy day on two angles...Being Kiera's Mommy and not being able to be the happy energetic mommy she needs right now and Missing My Mommy. It's not easy knowing so many people who, at the DROP of a HAT can call their mothers and they'll be right over to help. I don't have that luxury at all. It's frustrating and overwhelming. Everyone we know has family and friends surrounding them and we have no one...and those we do have infants themselves so it's not easy on them either nor do we want to burden anyone with a request of, "can you please dear god in heaven come here and help us for an hour so that I can clean a bathroom or do laundry or fill the dishwasher or vacuum....or breathe!!!!"

When I was adopted my mom didn't work full-time and had her mom to help. And in the immortal words of my Rebecca, "Melis, you know that if your mom were alive she'd be at that house all the time to help you!" What a wonderful fantasy to have.

I'm definitely having one of those days...they are few and far between most of the time, but lately they've been right up close. We have SO much stress going on in our lives and I feel LOST. Between Sean's job situation, my job situation (thank you Governor Christie for everything), the pregnancy, the weather and flooding basement, the messiest house that I can't keep up with and Kiera being the rambunctious 2 year old that she's supposed to be, I just feel like I can't do it anymore.

I am under NO assumption that this will get easier when Caitlin arrives, but at least I can get up from a sitting position faster, run after Kiera if needed, not feel like I'm ready to fall apart at the seams from all the aches and pains that are running through the lower part of my body...I'll just be tired...exhausted...and that will be good.

Plus, we have three of the most demanding animals on the planet! The dogs are a nightmare and always always always under my feet making me trip over them. Sera is in a really bad place with the loss of Leia and sits on the stairs crying all the time now...she NEVER did that before...she needs more attention than I can give her. If and when I get down in the flooded basement where she hides because she hates the dogs (and Kiera for that matter), I am dashing to get laundry into the washer or out of the dryer before Kiera falls and breaks herself or something upstairs because God knows I can't bring her down there. Mental note to self: Next house...Ranch with two bedrooms, one bathroom and laundry next to the kitchen. Period.

Therefore, "I'm overwhelmed" would also be an understatement. My sister was down for a couple of days with her 3 month old and two 9 year olds and even THAT made me feel less overwhelmed and tired. I just can't get it all together. When Sean is home he's a HUGE help! When he's not, I feel like digging a hole and getting into it.

This post is so unlike me recently...other than the Leia episode...I'm usually upbeat and optimistic, but not today. Not today. Why on Earth my mom isn't here to help me through this is beyond me...why she won't be here for her Granddaughter's Easter tomorrow is beyond me (she would have given up everything to be here!)...Every now and again I must regress into a child myself and have some "Why Me?!" moments and today is definitely full of them! *sigh*

But, right now, Kiera and I are going to go outside and run about the yard in the sun and see if Mommy can brighten up this Bad Mommy Day. Off we go...

And then there were three...

I have always called our home "Noah's Ark" because we all come in twos...maybe not right away, but when it came down to it there were two adults, two cats, two dogs and soon to be two babies...but now we are less one in our animal family.

As soon as Sean and I moved into our apartment in May of 2000 I was itching for an animal. I preferred a cat at the time knowing that they were "less work" and independent...but yet loving and protective. So off I went to the pet store one day after work to get a kitten and came home with our Leia.

Sean recalls coming home from work to me standing in the kitchen with a huge smile on my face telling him, "You're a Dad!" He couldn't quite understand why I would be so excited to be 22 years old with no real job and living in an apartment in Asbury Park and HAPPY to be announcing that he's a Dad :) But at that moment a tiny gray tabby kitten came bounding out from under the couch to play with his feet. We were both in love.

Of course we named her Leia because of Sean's Star Wars obsession...fine with me...and hoped to someday get Luke to make the pair complete. Leia was a spunky kitten! She would play...or scratch the crap...out of our feet when they stuck out of the blankets at night, jump on any surface that she could, and most importantly and the main reason why declawing was 100% a necessity with her was her unbelievable ability to run across a room at full speed and UP our legs!!! OUCH!!

I brought her to NY once to the house I grew up in and my mom had long curtains hanging from the windows in the living room. Leia loved all the space to roam around and especially loved to run across the room and UP the curtains! I thought my father was going to have a heart attack...it was awesome! :)

In August of 2000 we decided to get Leia a playmate...a brother preferably to have our Luke...so while Sean was working at a house in Asbury he noticed a litter of kittens on the porch. He asked the woman if he could take one and came home with "Luke" in his pocket. We later found out that "Luke" was actually a girl, so he became Sera...it's apparently hard to tell a boy cat from a girl cat :) She was so small that her bed was a cell phone box and Leia was NOT happy about having this kitten in her house. She would creep up to the box and swat at poor Sera. But very shortly after they fell in love with each other and didn't leave one another's sides. Too sweet for words.

Two years later Luke did come into our lives, but in the form of a pug and two years after that Bella the pug came along too. Leia didn't mind them at all and would lay with them, let them play with her, and because she always acted like a dog anyway, they all fit together nicely. (Sera has always been a different story, a WONDERFUL cat, but HATES the dogs...we'll tell her story when she dies in probably another 15 years...she'll be here forever :)

She's given us a ton of scares in her short life though too. Throughout her first year of life she slowly, very slowly, developed problems with her back legs. She couldn't walk on her paws so she would walk on her "forearms" if you will. She also did a lot of sliding around, but she could run when she wanted (had much trouble stopping :) and could climb stairs with ease. She couldn't really jump onto the couch, so she would paw at us until we picked her up. This condition followed her to her last day...one reason why we knew she wouldn't live as long as regular cats.

One night when we lived in Asbury, Sean was working in Cape May and I was out with some girlfriends for the night. When I came home our window screen was slit and Leia was completely gone. I called the police...frantic...and searched for Leia for hours. I finally found her under a car scared to death and hissing. She's gotten out in every house we've lived in and scared us every single time! Even with a fenced in yard in our current house and bricks along the entire bottom and even up some of the sides hiding all holes, she would always find a way out.

She also had a hematoma of her ear once that filled up SO fast and required surgery. Trying to take care of a poor cat with bad back legs after anesthesia was NOT easy and she had a very hard time with it. After the stitches came out her ear was permanently floppy...gave her character :)

But in the end, the ultimate gift Leia gave us was all the love in the world. Some people HATE cats because they think they're snotty and stand-offish, but not our Leia. She was the sweetest, most loving cat I've ever come across. People who know me will confer that I've always said that some part of my mom was reincarnated into Leia...with her patience, kindness and love. She tolerated more than any cat should and persevered through it all...another cat, dogs, Kiera grabbing her...and she loved us. All she ever wanted was to be held and snuggled with...she was amazing and will never be forgotten. I can't believe that a decade with her has past and she's gone. But, she's in heaven now with my mom able to walk and jump and play with bubbles, happy as can be and we'll just keep her memory alive here.

We love you Leia Legs...March 29, 2000-March 16, 2010

Almost TWO...

Kiera Rita is 23 Months Old today. We've had a rough go at it the past week though, so I'm very happy that it's finally sunny and hopefully going to warm up. Then Kiera will be in much better spirits!

Kiera has had a tough week of sickness. Our babysitter, I believe, has forgotten what it's like to be a mom...or a working mom...so with 100.4 fever, Kiera was promptly sent home. We had her out of Jen's care for 3 days last week...$$$ flushed down the drain...She has a thing with fevers over 100...which for a running about almost 2 year old with a cold is pretty common our Doctor told us...sigh. ANYWAY...her fever fluctuated throughout the week going as high as 102.5 some nights and 97.5 some mornings! It was nuts. We took her to the doctor on Thursday and everything was clear; "Viral" he said. So we waited out the weekend, kept her home again on Friday and took her back on Monday...with the beginnings of an ear infection...so we're on antibiotics...finally! You know, I'm not one to want to over medicate, but wouldn't it be nice to just wipe it out from the get-go sometimes?! She's feeling a little better today, but still has the cough from HELL...poor peanut.

Meanwhile, Sean's mom-mom passed away, he still feels sick, I feel awful, we didn't sleep for several nights with a crying baby, and our basement is completely destroyed by the rain that we got over the weekend. The carpet is now laying on our back lawn ready to be thrown away :( AND we have to put our first animal, Leia to sleep VERY soon because she's miserable and it's breaking our hearts.

But...on Saturday my very favorite people managed to surprise me with a "Sprinkle" for Miss Caitlin! I felt like death and didn't want to get off the couch when Aunt Rae Rae came to "Babysit" (for the third time that week) so Sean and I could "go out on a date to the movies". I had NO idea what was going on and cried and cried from exhaustion and feeling guilty about having Rae Ann have to sit with our sick babe. But, I succumbed and went to see a movie with Sean. When we got back there was nothing to suspect because there was not a car to be found! Inside were my nearest and dearest with a ton of food, diapers and wipes :) Perfect! We had such a nice evening chatting and laughing.

These are certainly the times when I miss my mom the most. She would have been there enjoying every moment with us and loving that fact that I have such thoughtful friends. It hurts so much that only one of my friends who attended even knew her...and knows how much she would have loved to have been there with us to celebrate her second granddaughter! I could just picture her sitting at the dining room table with her bright smile and tongue against her teeth shining like the Grandma star she could have been. Bitter Sweet are these days that come with babies when your mom is gone...Thank goodness Kiera and Cate have such amazing angels on their side up there!

This was supposed to be about our little Miss 23 Month old...nothing too much has changed...she's still Little Miss Personality, full of life and spunk (even when she's sick). She is one of the smartest people I've ever met...that says a lot haha...and seems to grow in her knowledge every single day.

Current Obsessions:

• Elmopalooza has come back into play and keeps her entertained for hours on end.
• Any book about animals is still a fan favorite.
• Sitting in the forts that Daddy has built for her...and forcing us inside too!
• With that being said, pulling us into the playroom closet...I can't really fit anymore.
• She likes to ask for something and when we repeat it back to her she says, "alright" like it was our idea that she's now agreeing to.
• Fave snacks: goldfish, pretzels with peanut butter, chips and salsa, grapes, bananas, cheese, and blueberry muffins.

We cannot wait for the weather to break to get outside! I for one need to get my butt in gear and walk off some of this winter/baby weight that is haunting me like the plague! And we all need some nice fresh air to clear us out...and especially get all the germs out of our house...yuck.

Our Winter Day at the Beach!

We decided to get out of the stuffy house for some aquarium and beach fun today! Kiera LOVES animals, especially sea creatures...so Jenkinson's was the perfect place for a couple of hours. Some of the funny things she says for animals:

• "Arf Arf": Seals
• "Da-na, Da-na, Da-na, Da-na, Da-na": Sharks
• "Waddle, Waddle, Waddle": Penguins
• "Crunch, Crunch, Crunch": Alligators

We hope you enjoy the very first video that's ever uploaded for us! Kiera had a fabulous time "talking" to the seals!

We also got to wander around on the beach for about an hour! It was joyous!!