Tuesday, November 9, 2010
A New Favorite
Here it is:
"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
-Dalhi Lama
We have NEVER regretted our decision and this furthers the fact to us that we made the 100% right decision...for us and the people who love our children.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
First Tooth!!
We are really excited that our baby girl has cut her first tooth...much in the way Kiera did...WITHOUT us KNOWING! But on the other hand, she's still a baby baby and I just want to keep her that way FOREVER! That toothless grin that can melt a heart has now become a toothy grin that can melt a heart. *sigh*
We knew that she'd probably have teeth sooner rather than later because not only does everything go in her mouth, as babies tend to do, but she was drooling like her life was depending on it. And yesterday, while chewing on my finger for the hundredth time that day, there it was...a little rough spot of tooth...and our newborn has a tooth...so sad...yet happy. Not sure how to feel :) So we'll end with YEA! (and nay!) our baby has her FIRST TOOTH!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Five Months Old...&...Almost Two and a Half!
Caitlin Maria is FIVE months old already. She's a ray of sunshine that we never could have prepared ourselves for. Last year at this time I was so sick with morning sickness, overwhelmed by the prospect of being a mommy of two and saddened that Kiera would have to share our attention. Now, today, we could not imagine life without her...she's just amazing! It's most definitely like she's always been here.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday Nights
Those are the moments that I miss with such fierceness that it hurts. Those simple times when everything was OK. When you never thought your world would be turned upside down before your eyes. When you had your mommy and never in a million years thought that you would lose her and her finger nails running down your back so soon.
I wish she were here to do this with our girls....two hands, two backs.
I only hope that I can make those memories with our girls...even if I die when I'm 101 and they're in their 70s...I want them to always remember Sunday nights.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
We're Rolling On...
The girls are so happy with Jaime and that couldn't make us any happier. Cate has taken to the bottle with ease (thank GOD!) and Kiera plays, does crafts, goes to the library, and sleeps like a champ when she's there. We were SO lucky to find her and are incredibly grateful that our girls are somewhere where they're taken care of as though they were home.
Being back at work has been good as well...even though I miss them with all my heart, I do appreciate the balance of things and enjoy having some adult time...or time to sit and type a blog during my half an hour lunch break. My class is delightful and seem to have it together for the most part, which really helps. I absolutely LOVE teaching...if I didn't I really wasted something like eight years in college for this! It brings me such joy and I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to be both a Mom and a Teacher. Is it hectic? Are there some mornings when I just want to lounge around with the girls in our PJs all day? Certainly. But this gives me a really flexible schedule to be able to do both throughout the year.
Sean's schedule is slowing down too as the fall approaches, which is great. There's nothing I love more than when all four of us are home and are able to spend some real quality time together...when there's no laundry, cooking, cleaning, or work to catch up on....which is rare :) Kiera just adores him and it warms my heart to see the two of them play and play. When Cate's more mobile, she'll be right in there with them...I'm so excited to see it.
I'm doing a little "cleaning house" of my own head and heart recently as well. I've decided to really focus on my own mind and body instead of worrying about what everyone else thinks about me. There's been so much negativity coming at me recently, but also in the past few years when I should have been ecstatic for so many reasons. The burden of thoughts that people have put on me have been so unhealthy and ridiculous that it's time to detach...forever. Instead, I'm going to put my attention towards my amazing husband, our gorgeous girls, my loving and fantastic Dad, and our family and friends whom I know love us and our family to pieces...no matter what.
So we continue on with a great start to my "year"! I have a wonderful aid in here with me who I don't know if I'll ever be able to live without...we're making an amazing team! I have a great class who are going to spoil me this year!! I have the most well adjusted to any situation girls who are loving the care they're being given! And I'm loving life!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
End of Summer...Beginning of Work
This past weekend we headed on down to Lewes, Delaware to see my friend and her family for the weekend. Her mom gave us use of her amazing condo so that we'd have plenty of room to spread out...and God knows, we did!! I cannot express the fun we had there. It was such a nice change of pace to be out of New Jersey with our family and have a mini-vaca with great friends! Our girls are all the same age...so it's THE BEST! Kiera and Mia are 6 weeks apart and Cate and Mikaela are 3 months apart. To see them together was amazing. Kiera and Mia played and played and played. We put Cate and Mikaela in the same pack-n-play at the beach and they were all over each other...it was ADORABLE!! Sean and John are kindred spirits and enjoyed some male bonding over grills, fire pits, tents, boats, and the huge clam bake they set up for us all to eat on Sunday night. We were so sad to leave. I know that I speak for both of us when I say that I'm SO glad the girls have "cousins" to grow up with!
In fact we've been so blessed with all the births this past year for our girls. Cate has so many freaking people to play with she won't know what to do with herself and Kiera gets to be a big sister to so many...it's great. I'm from a very small family with few cousins my age, so this is simply thrilling for me to have people with babies so close in age to our children. Our girls are super lucky!
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Summer is Coming to a Close
For us, this summer has certainly been an adventure! It's been THE hottest summer I can ever remember and we had the most beautifully hot child for it. Cate has been everywhere and then some, much more than we ever did with Kiera, but we definitely had to limit our outdoor activities because of the oppressive heat.
I feel so blessed to have had this time with the girls and am looking forward to next summer even more. I go back and forth with feelings of sadness to return to work and feelings of excitement. I love and NEED my job for us to stay afloat and therefore, there must be some feeling of excitement or I'll go crazy. My very wise friend, Molly, said that she thinks it's important for me to stay true to myself and that it's great for the girls to see a strong working mom who does things not only for them, but for herself as well...and I add, to stay sane. As usual, she's right. Besides, being stuck in these four walls all days makes me kind of kooky...and I get stressed that the house isn't clean or that the laundry isn't done. When I'm at work, I don't care. And when we all come home at the end of the day, I still don't care! I just cherish the time we have together in the evenings and look forward to the weekends.
Anyway, onwards. Cate is three months old already and just the sweetest child there is. I'm nervous about her commitment to the bottle in the next few weeks, but I'm sure, just like Kiera, she'll get the hang of it...or starve...we shall see :) She's the happiest, most content, loving child with this soul that I can only hope came from the best parts of my mom up there. When she looks at you it's like she's looking into you. She's amazing. She's just started rolling over and she constantly wants to sit up. When you have her on her back she lifts her neck as far as it can go as if to say, "I'm missing something, I know I am!" We're in trouble there! She's a great sleeper and most nights gives me the whole night...last night was an 8-6 night! Woo Hoo! She has her doctor's appointment on Wednesday, so we don't know how much she currently is, but she seems to be getting longer rather than chubbier...but still has THE best thighs! *Squeeze* I don't know what we ever did without her!!
Kiera is a canon and most of the time I LOVE IT! She definitely has her moments of defiance, but is generally such a sweet, good and fun fun fun two year old! My favorite parts of the day are when she comes up to me and gives me a hug and a kiss and says that she loves me; when she's so sticky sweet to Cate and gives her hugs and kisses...and also says things to her that I say to her which makes me laugh. The things that come out of her mouth in general are hysterical! The other morning she sat on the couch, looked at Sean and I dancing around each other in the kitchen trying to get everything ready for the day and said as serious as can be, "Ummm....waffles?!" Like we were not meeting her needs and she needed them met immediately. Too much.
The sleeping situation with the two of them has proved to be brilliant. If I need to get Cate while Kiera is still sleeping, she may wake up for a moment, but goes right back down. Naps are still sort of tricky because they're not on the same schedule yet...but right now they're both up there snoozing away.
Potty training is going, but not going as fast as I had hoped. All I can say, again, is that I think she's just not ready. She LOVES to go on the potty and gets SO excited when she does...her face lights up like fireworks! But then she could sit in a wet diaper, underwear or puddle all day long and think NOTHING of it. Ick.
Yesterday I began thinking, again, how much my mom would have loved these girls. It's such a shame and puts such a strange damper on things almost daily for me. Having your mom die at such a young age inevitably makes you think of your own mortality and I find myself praying to a God that I don't even think I know since she died and hoping that "he" doesn't take me too early too! Because I could really really really use my mom every day...if not for just a ten minute conversation here and there...*sigh* False hopes. It also makes me think how lucky the girls are right now to not know that there is such sadness out there...they have Mommy and Daddy and they feel safe. If they cry, we're there, if they fall, we pick them up. I would imagine it's a wonderful feeling to have. One that me and many of my friends don't have anymore. I was talking to my friend Lozelle last night and we were chatting about some of these things and she said that she sometimes has to ask, "what is the lesson that I'm supposed to learn from this?!" And she's so right. What is it that the heavens are trying to teach us by taking away someone that we love so deeply and NEED so very much?! I'm NOT a stronger person because of this and my children's Grandma was taken. It sucks. Period.
I just let my thoughts and fingers do the writing my friends...sorry :)
Anyway, my family of four is doing stupendously. I'm so excited to see what the future holds in store. Every time Kiera slams the door in play I wonder what it will be like in 12 years when I'm taking the door off the hinges after she slams it in anger :) I'm so in love with my husband, beautiful girls, and life. We are certainly blessed.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Two Months Old...and Almost 27 Months Old :)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Getting into the Swing of Things :)
Caitlin is an absolute delight and we all just want to eat her alive. If she cries it means something and we can usually figure it out...thank goodness. She's getting bigger and more alert by the day, smiling, cooing, interacting, I can't get enough of it.
Kiera is such a wonder. She's a typical two year old in every way. So cute, fun, and lively and then can be grouchy and defiant...she's a pistol! I can't get enough of how well she's forming sentences and recently asking, "why not, Mommy, why not?" I do a lot of "becauses" these days.
I'm having a slightly sad day, however. This morning I spent time with two of my very very good friends who both lost their moms quite recently and both anniversaries are this month....one tomorrow and one next week as a matter of fact. I had someone who used to be very close to me recently call my mom my "adopted mother" in every sentence they spoke. This hurt me to the core because she was never my "adopted mother", she was my mommy....just like I'm Kiera and Cate's mommy. Do you think they know or care that I carried them around in my person for 9 months? Absolutely not. But do they know that I'm the one who hugs and kisses them every day of their life, who gets them up in the morning and tucks them in at night, the one who kisses away every tear and soothes them back to feeling good when they hurt...that's a mom. And that's what we all miss about our moms...even now that we're in our 3os we all still need our moms to kiss, hug, take our tears away, and reassure us that it's all going to be ok. I'm eternally grateful that we have this friendship with empathy that only people who've lost their moms young would ever understand. We all wish that our moms were here for our children (and us) every single day...
I love being the mom of girls and I worry every day about having to leave them...it's irrational, but when you've lost your mom at 17, these are the thoughts you have. I always want them to feel and be safe. They are my heart, my soul, and the deepest parts of my being. I hope that they always know how very much I love them...just like my mom loved me each and every day of her short life...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Odds, Ends, and Then-Some...
- She can recognize a "K" anywhere and calls it "My K!"
- She can recite the ABCS and has memorized her Dr. Seuss ABC book to read to Cate.
- She pretty much knows how to spell her name thanks to "BINGO"...There was a Mommy who had a girl and Kiera was her name-o, K-I-E-R-A...you get the picture :)
- She's so helpful with Cate, bringing diapers, helping wipe her, helping give her a bath, hugs, and kisses.
- Currently her favorite movies are "Shrek" and "Monster's Inc." I LOVE it when she says, "Silly Monster!"
- She loves to color...thank GOD for Color Wonder markers and paper and aqua doodles...and can draw a circle.
- She recognizes all her shapes, including hexagons?!, and all her colors.
- She LOVES to dance and it's hysterical to watch!
- She loves to eat...Goldfish still being a fan favorite...Favorite veggie is broccoli and recently enjoyed edamame. Favorite fruits are strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, and mango. Still isn't thrilled with meat unless it's in the form of a nugget. We keep trying. Loves PBJs and waffles...can eat them at any time of day!
Here's a quick, What I've Learned in Five Weeks of Having a Two Year Old and Infant...
It was a piece of CAKE having just an infant when Kiera was born! CAKE! If I ever complained, said that we were having a rough day, or was overwhelmed, it's nothing compared to now :) It's THE best thing and the most exhausting all wrapped in one! And this is with Kiera being a great little girl who listens 89% of the time. It's not that it's necessarily hard, but it's just difficult juggling everyone. I'd LOVE to get outside and play, but Cate can't be in the sun and even when there's shade it's still HOT and she is the hottest child I've ever met! We've taken them to the beach, but it's generally 10ish degrees cooler there and I have Sean to help. When I'm home I feel like I'm often trapped in the house because to bring both of them out is a challenge...to say the least.
Bringing Kiera to her Pirate Party today was such a small breath of fresh air. Did I miss Cate, yes, but did I enjoy having time with my peanut, yes! And I remember bringing her to the beach every day I had free last year so she could play. I can't do that for her this summer. So it was so nice to pick up and go with her and spend the morning on the river in a pirate ship :)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Cate is One Month Old!
We cannot believe that one month has gone by so fast! We also can't remember what our life was like before we had two beautiful girls in it!
It's sometimes easy to forget that she's still a newborn considering how big she is, but it just makes it easier to maneuver her about. She's already been to a Blueclaw's Game, the Boardwalk, the beach (twice), shopping on too many occasions, BBQs and parties. She's a seasoned traveler already.
Today we celebrated not only her one month day, but an early Daddy Daughter/Granddaughter day with Papa in Connecticut. Caitlin slept away most of the day and Kiera was a total crankstar due to not napping, but it was a lovely day none-the-less. She's an excellent car baby, as is Kiera since we invested in a DVD player for her...thank Christ...but Cate slept all the way there and all the way home...phew. Grandma and Papa spoiled them both rotten as well as Daddy and fed us to the gills...we had to be rolled out of there...great time had by all :)
I'm still balancing everything on a very flimsy tray, but we're getting better. Every day is different...which for a person with slight OCD isn't always the easiest to handle...but we're doing it. So what if Kiera has watched "Monsters Inc" so many times that she's memorized every line so that I can sit with Cate and feed her or clean the house or sit and stare into the oblivion for a moment. She'll live, right? And won't remember this part of Mommy getting it all together?!
The summer has only just begun and I'm hoping to have it into an OK routine by the beginning of July...we shall see...A few goals for the summer:
- Have Kiera potty trained by September.
- Get Cate into a crib and into Kiera's room.
- Get Kiera into a bed so that Cate can have a crib :)
And that's it. Everything else will just be icing on the cake. One of my very good friends, Molly, said that her friend, a mother of four, said, "Learn to lower your standards" and "It's a great day when no one visits the ER." And I say, "I'll drink to that!" So what if my house looks like a tornado blew through and the dishes are filling the sink and there's enough dog hair in clumps to make a new dog...we'll get through it with smiles, I hope...I'm sure a few tears too some days.
So, here's to Miss Cate growing up way too fast already! Happy One Month our Baby Girl!! xo
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Balancing Act...Without a Net?!
I think I overestimate how much I am able to do on so little sleep due to the size of Cate and how "good" I feel already. But I'm still trying to get into a feeding routine with Caitlin, which I feel is like every hour during the day. Plus, she, like Kiera, enjoys to be held all the time. I'm trying hard to put her down when she falls asleep so that she can get used to not being in my arms and so I can spend more time playing with Kiera. Not easy right now.
Today I decided to venture out in the backyard with both girls for literally one hour. Number one, it's hot as hell out there!! Kiera was sweating like a faucet...although she didn't mind at all, but I had to find a shady and cool spot for Cate, which in our yard is next to impossible! So I decided to get our beach tent from the garage. Kiera and I bring Cate inside, put her in her swing and head to the garage to get it...which alone takes 10 minutes with a toddler who wants to wear certain sandals outside, her sunglasses, and a hat...that mind you she WASN'T wearing out in the backyard, but must wear out to the front of the house...and then she dawdles picking flowers on the lawn...cute, yes, must get back inside, YES! After we get inside I pop out to the deck for ONE minute to open the tent and I come back in to Kiera swinging Caitlin like a crazy person in the swing! Holy Heart Attack! Cate, however, seemed to be enjoying it and actually wasn't crying anymore. Mommy wasn't quite as happy.
We successfully got the tent up in the backyard, Cate inside, and Kiera playing all around it like a monkey...fun :) However, once Kiera got bored with this she began a new game, the "climbing up and down the deck stairs" game. If you've ever been in my backyard, it's pretty big as backyards go in New Jersey. I put the tent up in the flat part of the yard all the way at the bottom of our property, so Kiera running up and down stairs when I needed to be close to Cate as well was not easy. Finally, I'd had enough and said that we were going in to have lunch. I told Kiera that I was going to get Cate and we were going in. I turn around to get Caitlin out of the tent and Kiera flops down two of the deck stairs...Holy Heart Attack! Thank goodness she didn't fall farther or faster because the bottom is a slab of concrete. Note to self: get a gate for the bottom of the deck stairs.
I babysat for years and years and years!! The last families that I sat for had four and five children! Including babies in each family and toddlers...have I lost my touch completely?? I feel like I should be able to do this with ease, yet I'm having these issues three weeks in??!! And the whole summer lies ahead of me...holy moly.
Please think of me and send me positive thoughts...I'm nervous :)
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Caitlin Maria McHugh
Caitlin is here!! She's a smidge over two weeks old and we're loving every second of her being here...even the sleepless nights (how easily you forget how hard those were!).
Here's the story of her arrival to our family...
I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, May 13th at 11:00. I was frustrated because I was three days overdue and was READY to have her with us. The doctor said that I was 2 1/2 cm dilated and knew that she would come any day. He decided to strip my membranes which hurt like HELL, but sent me into some really nice contractions about an hour later.
I called Rae Ann and told her to come over after work to be here for the night just in case I needed to go to the hospital and thank goodness I did. Sean and I decided to sleep a little from 10-12:45am when I woke up with some major pain and we decided it was time to get on the road. Our hospital was only five minutes away this time, so I felt comfortable waiting a bit before we went. They weren't busy at all, got us right in and I was hooked up to all the monitors by 2:15am, measuring at 4cm and ready to get the party started. At 3:00am I got the glorious, lifesaving, fabulous epidural (thank Christ for the person who invented those!).
I was totally relaxed and having an awesome time for about an hour when I felt some horrific pressure and we knew it was just about time to push. They measured me again and I was 8cm...it was time to call the doctor in to set up. Dr. Alexander was the doctor on call...this beautiful Heidi Klum look alike who had given birth to three children herself and you would never know. She put on a shield and boots up to her knees...would I be that messy??!! lol
At 4:34 I was ready to start pushing...now let me preface this by reminding those of you who read this how overwhelmingly tired and uncomfortable I was this entire pregnancy...we would soon know why...I pushed through two contractions and out she popped! Ten minutes flat, thank you very much :) And she was HUGE!!! 9 lbs 13 oz 21 in!! Holy moly! How I carried her around, I will never know. Not only that, but we were "expecting" a blond child and she came out with a full head of dark dark dark hair!! Wow...just gorgeous and cheeks that went on for days and days, but quite a shock!
She is 100% healthy and is currently weighing in at a nice 10 lbs 1 oz. She's perfect and adorable and the perfect addition to our family. Kiera came to the hospital twice when we were there and loved her up then and is loving her up here at home. She has been such a great big sister...helping with diapers, patting her back to burp her and giving lots of hugs and kisses. The funniest thing is when she watches me pump and wants to do so herself. I'm not sure she'd really enjoy that :)
We're adjusting to being a family of four slowly but surely. Sean's mom, Mom-Mom was here for over a week and it was a godsend. She played with and entertained Kiera every day for hours while I became acclimated with my new schedule. Caitlin has been doing well recently with her nightly feedings, going about every three hours from 11pm on, so that's nice. But in the beginning she would go through spurts of every hour which was SO hard on me! Sean is GREAT and gets up to change her diaper and hand her over, but when you choose to breastfeed, it's all mommy all the time :) Thank goodness for some excellent middle of the night infomercials!
I'm looking forward to writing all about Miss Cate in the coming months...and continuing with more Kiera Khaos...the McHugh Mamas are both here and I'm ready for the journey of being a Mommy of Two!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Today is my Due Date...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
One Hell of a Week (and a half)
Last Tuesday I kept Kiera home for her JcPenney pictures...which she was COMPLETELY uncooperative for. Thank God Aunt Rae Rae came with us or I wouldn't have survived. After two hours we finally got THREE pictures out of her. Blech. But the ones we did get were cute, so que sera sera. While sitting on the couch having a nice leisurely lunch with Rae Ann, Jenn called to let me know that she would not be taking children for the next two days because her son had a stomach virus. Fabulous. Fabulous. FABULOUS! Hence, Kdog was home for Wednesday and Thursday as well. Please don't get me wrong, I WANT to spend time with the peanut alone while I still can, and I had days planned for that, but I had things to do like run around which is hard to do without lugging a two year old with me who has learned how to say, "Mommy, I want to go home!" in every store we enter.
On Friday we reluctantly sent her back to Jenn's because I know how stomach viruses can linger, and hence, Saturday night at 2:07am, Kiera awoke and threw up hot dog all over her crib. *sigh* She threw up religiously until around 5am when we all passed out in our bed and then awoke to vomit around 7:45am. Poor thing would look up at us with sad puppy dog eyes, not crying, but saying, "why is this happening?!" with her face. It broke our hearts! Needless to say she was a mess all day and we felt so sad for her.
The last time she threw up was 10:30am, then she napped for 3 hours and got up with a better outlook. However, after pedialyte at 5:30, she ran about and threw up again at 6:45...so we kept her home on Monday. She slept from 8pm-10:30am! She was so lethargic and rested on the couch most of the day...and then she and I took a three hour nap in my bed...so that was nice :) But, we decided to send her to Jenn's the following day because she seemed much better by bedtime and slept through the night successfully again.
When Sean left for work on Tuesday I felt like CRAP. I hadn't eaten right the day before due to Kiera not eating properly, so I thought it was that, but alas, NO...I dropped Kiera off at Jenn's late and she ended up having diarrhea within the first hour and a half. Again, *sigh*... I had just gotten home and thrown up...oy vey. I couldn't get off the couch to even go and get her...I was so dizzy and seeing things in my peripheral vision, so Sean had to come home and get her. I felt awful! Enough's enough!! Within 12 hours I was feeling a bit better, but now I'm even more tired and run down then ever.
THEN...because honestly, we didn't have enough, Jenn was sick today, so Kiera was home again!! And we think she's going to be home tomorrow too because she still has some remnants of the diarrhea and she REALLY needs to get better before Cate arrives!!
I went to the doctor's today and nothing has changed, still one cm...which I'm actually grateful about. I cannot have this poor little baby and bring her into this tomb. I feel like taking Clorox and dousing the entire house with it! I cleaned the downstairs toilet every single time I even looked at it yesterday and sprayed everything I could with Lysol every chance I got...but it still feels unclean! Plus, I don't want anyone coming into our house to help us with Kiera if I were to go into labor because chances are, they'll get sick too!! So now I really need a day or two to clean and disinfect the whole house before Caitlin's entrance to the world...I'm a touch overwhelmed.
Right now the excitement and anticipation has turned into anxiety and trepidation. What I'm hoping is that Cate stays in until Monday...her due date...that would be 7 days after Kiera originally had the bug and hopefully I can get the house spic and span by then!! Cross fingers for the McHughs...especially my wonderful Sean who needs to remain at full healthy capacity for us to survive!!
OH...and PS...the downstairs toilet just overflowed...Oh joyous day.
Monday, April 26, 2010
First Official Day of Maternity Leave!
ready as I think we'll ever be! There actually wasn't too much to do...knowing that she is (hopefully) a girl has been very helpful :)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Kiera and Caitlin's Daddy
I have NEVER met anyone with so much patience, compassion, fun, helpfulness, and love. He is a true family man who, even at the lowest of times, holds us all together in a way that only he can. I never thought I'd find someone who could balance me out...and then there he was. Always with such a kind understanding of my changing moods and craziness :) He's amazing.
Especially now that I'm only twoish weeks away from giving birth to our second child, he has upped his game, if that's even possible! He's doing everything for our family...cooking, cleaning, keeping up with Kiera alone since I can't :) We're usually such a good tag-team, but I just can't get up fast enough now (hahaha). Let me give him some more credit on the cooking though...he has always been our main cook...and especially since I was first pregnant with Kiera and couldn't even look at food...he started cooking every night and it stuck...phew...because I can do without cooking any day :)
They say in books that children love their parents in different ways and look to them for what they need/want from them. Kiera most certainly knows that Sean is her playmate! "Come on Daddy, Come on!" They roll around on the floor, play outside in and out of the playhouse (constantly...I don't know how he does it, maybe I will when I don't have a medicine ball attached to my stomach), they chase each other around the house like crazy people laughing like hyenas, she makes him hide in the closet with her and then they pop out. It's too much!
I would so much rather have both Sean and my Mommy...she would have been running around right along side of them...she was AMAZING and would be thrilled with having two granddaughters, more than anyone could imagine...but if I can't have them both, I'm eternally grateful for the angel she sent down to look over me on a daily basis. I couldn't do any of this without him and can't imagine not having him by my side. Kiera and Cate are THE luckiest little girls in the world!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Kiera is TWO Today!
We had a lovely day...very relaxing. Uncle Jimmy came up from Cape May to spend the morning and afternoon with us, then Aunt Rae Rae spent the late afternoon with us. She's a very lucky little lady.
Saturday...well our little gathering is over, and I'm once again, exhausted! It's amazing how stressful a throw-it-together-at-the-last-minute-get-together can be! We decided very late to throw together a tiny fiesta for Miss K. My motherless daughters girls were on me about what we were going to do for her, so we decided a little dinner and cake might just be in order. We actually didn't even speak to Sean's brothers about it until last Sunday...we stink! Poor Kiera...but it was nice and the kids ran around like crazy people...Kiera was up until 9 and got up on Sunday morning at 5:45!! What the??!!
Kiera is more than we could have ever asked for in life. She is so spunky and opinionated and brilliant and lively and thrilling and adorable...and it can go on and on. She's the most beautiful person I've ever known and can't wait to know her even better as the years go on.
On Friday we were laying in my bed reading a book and she looks up at me and says, "I love you Mommy." Melt my freaking heart!! I can't handle things like that preggers or not!! I could not ask for anything more.
Some days I feel so guilty for having another baby so close to her age. Has she gotten enough time being #1? Will she feel sad most days that Cate is here? Will I be able to give her the attention that she needs? Will I have enough time in the day to give them both the attention that they need? How on Earth can I love someone as much as I love her?! I know from other people that all of this is normal and that you "just do", but I can't stand how much I love her and I never want to take anything away from her...or the new peanut. It's so hard!
But the next year of her life will be filled with change and excitement and big sister duties (that she didn't sign up for!) and hopefully a ton of love, fun, and family. She even has another new cousin coming in August...so she'll be surrounded by new babies to love.
Here's to our baby girl's third year of life. We couldn't love her any more than we do now! Happy Happy Birthday our Angel!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tough Mommy Day
I'm having a Tough Mommy day on two angles...Being Kiera's Mommy and not being able to be the happy energetic mommy she needs right now and Missing My Mommy. It's not easy knowing so many people who, at the DROP of a HAT can call their mothers and they'll be right over to help. I don't have that luxury at all. It's frustrating and overwhelming. Everyone we know has family and friends surrounding them and we have no one...and those we do have infants themselves so it's not easy on them either nor do we want to burden anyone with a request of, "can you please dear god in heaven come here and help us for an hour so that I can clean a bathroom or do laundry or fill the dishwasher or vacuum....or breathe!!!!"
When I was adopted my mom didn't work full-time and had her mom to help. And in the immortal words of my Rebecca, "Melis, you know that if your mom were alive she'd be at that house all the time to help you!" What a wonderful fantasy to have.
I'm definitely having one of those days...they are few and far between most of the time, but lately they've been right up close. We have SO much stress going on in our lives and I feel LOST. Between Sean's job situation, my job situation (thank you Governor Christie for everything), the pregnancy, the weather and flooding basement, the messiest house that I can't keep up with and Kiera being the rambunctious 2 year old that she's supposed to be, I just feel like I can't do it anymore.
I am under NO assumption that this will get easier when Caitlin arrives, but at least I can get up from a sitting position faster, run after Kiera if needed, not feel like I'm ready to fall apart at the seams from all the aches and pains that are running through the lower part of my body...I'll just be tired...exhausted...and that will be good.
Plus, we have three of the most demanding animals on the planet! The dogs are a nightmare and always always always under my feet making me trip over them. Sera is in a really bad place with the loss of Leia and sits on the stairs crying all the time now...she NEVER did that before...she needs more attention than I can give her. If and when I get down in the flooded basement where she hides because she hates the dogs (and Kiera for that matter), I am dashing to get laundry into the washer or out of the dryer before Kiera falls and breaks herself or something upstairs because God knows I can't bring her down there. Mental note to self: Next house...Ranch with two bedrooms, one bathroom and laundry next to the kitchen. Period.
Therefore, "I'm overwhelmed" would also be an understatement. My sister was down for a couple of days with her 3 month old and two 9 year olds and even THAT made me feel less overwhelmed and tired. I just can't get it all together. When Sean is home he's a HUGE help! When he's not, I feel like digging a hole and getting into it.
This post is so unlike me recently...other than the Leia episode...I'm usually upbeat and optimistic, but not today. Not today. Why on Earth my mom isn't here to help me through this is beyond me...why she won't be here for her Granddaughter's Easter tomorrow is beyond me (she would have given up everything to be here!)...Every now and again I must regress into a child myself and have some "Why Me?!" moments and today is definitely full of them! *sigh*
But, right now, Kiera and I are going to go outside and run about the yard in the sun and see if Mommy can brighten up this Bad Mommy Day. Off we go...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
And then there were three...
As soon as Sean and I moved into our apartment in May of 2000 I was itching for an animal. I preferred a cat at the time knowing that they were "less work" and independent...but yet loving and protective. So off I went to the pet store one day after work to get a kitten and came home with our Leia.
Sean recalls coming home from work to me standing in the kitchen with a huge smile on my face telling him, "You're a Dad!" He couldn't quite understand why I would be so excited to be 22 years old with no real job and living in an apartment in Asbury Park and HAPPY to be announcing that he's a Dad :) But at that moment a tiny gray tabby kitten came bounding out from under the couch to play with his feet. We were both in love.
Of course we named her Leia because of Sean's Star Wars obsession...fine with me...and hoped to someday get Luke to make the pair complete. Leia was a spunky kitten! She would play...or scratch the crap...out of our feet when they stuck out of the blankets at night, jump on any surface that she could, and most importantly and the main reason why declawing was 100% a necessity with her was her unbelievable ability to run across a room at full speed and UP our legs!!! OUCH!!
I brought her to NY once to the house I grew up in and my mom had long curtains hanging from the windows in the living room. Leia loved all the space to roam around and especially loved to run across the room and UP the curtains! I thought my father was going to have a heart attack...it was awesome! :)
In August of 2000 we decided to get Leia a playmate...a brother preferably to have our Luke...so while Sean was working at a house in Asbury he noticed a litter of kittens on the porch. He asked the woman if he could take one and came home with "Luke" in his pocket. We later found out that "Luke" was actually a girl, so he became Sera...it's apparently hard to tell a boy cat from a girl cat :) She was so small that her bed was a cell phone box and Leia was NOT happy about having this kitten in her house. She would creep up to the box and swat at poor Sera. But very shortly after they fell in love with each other and didn't leave one another's sides. Too sweet for words.
Two years later Luke did come into our lives, but in the form of a pug and two years after that Bella the pug came along too. Leia didn't mind them at all and would lay with them, let them play with her, and because she always acted like a dog anyway, they all fit together nicely. (Sera has always been a different story, a WONDERFUL cat, but HATES the dogs...we'll tell her story when she dies in probably another 15 years...she'll be here forever :)
She's given us a ton of scares in her short life though too. Throughout her first year of life she slowly, very slowly, developed problems with her back legs. She couldn't walk on her paws so she would walk on her "forearms" if you will. She also did a lot of sliding around, but she could run when she wanted (had much trouble stopping :) and could climb stairs with ease. She couldn't really jump onto the couch, so she would paw at us until we picked her up. This condition followed her to her last day...one reason why we knew she wouldn't live as long as regular cats.
One night when we lived in Asbury, Sean was working in Cape May and I was out with some girlfriends for the night. When I came home our window screen was slit and Leia was completely gone. I called the police...frantic...and searched for Leia for hours. I finally found her under a car scared to death and hissing. She's gotten out in every house we've lived in and scared us every single time! Even with a fenced in yard in our current house and bricks along the entire bottom and even up some of the sides hiding all holes, she would always find a way out.
She also had a hematoma of her ear once that filled up SO fast and required surgery. Trying to take care of a poor cat with bad back legs after anesthesia was NOT easy and she had a very hard time with it. After the stitches came out her ear was permanently floppy...gave her character :)
But in the end, the ultimate gift Leia gave us was all the love in the world. Some people HATE cats because they think they're snotty and stand-offish, but not our Leia. She was the sweetest, most loving cat I've ever come across. People who know me will confer that I've always said that some part of my mom was reincarnated into Leia...with her patience, kindness and love. She tolerated more than any cat should and persevered through it all...another cat, dogs, Kiera grabbing her...and she loved us. All she ever wanted was to be held and snuggled with...she was amazing and will never be forgotten. I can't believe that a decade with her has past and she's gone. But, she's in heaven now with my mom able to walk and jump and play with bubbles, happy as can be and we'll just keep her memory alive here.
We love you Leia Legs...March 29, 2000-March 16, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Almost TWO...
Kiera has had a tough week of sickness. Our babysitter, I believe, has forgotten what it's like to be a mom...or a working mom...so with 100.4 fever, Kiera was promptly sent home. We had her out of Jen's care for 3 days last week...$$$ flushed down the drain...She has a thing with fevers over 100...which for a running about almost 2 year old with a cold is pretty common our Doctor told us...sigh. ANYWAY...her fever fluctuated throughout the week going as high as 102.5 some nights and 97.5 some mornings! It was nuts. We took her to the doctor on Thursday and everything was clear; "Viral" he said. So we waited out the weekend, kept her home again on Friday and took her back on Monday...with the beginnings of an ear infection...so we're on antibiotics...finally! You know, I'm not one to want to over medicate, but wouldn't it be nice to just wipe it out from the get-go sometimes?! She's feeling a little better today, but still has the cough from HELL...poor peanut.
Meanwhile, Sean's mom-mom passed away, he still feels sick, I feel awful, we didn't sleep for several nights with a crying baby, and our basement is completely destroyed by the rain that we got over the weekend. The carpet is now laying on our back lawn ready to be thrown away :( AND we have to put our first animal, Leia to sleep VERY soon because she's miserable and it's breaking our hearts.
But...on Saturday my very favorite people managed to surprise me with a "Sprinkle" for Miss Caitlin! I felt like death and didn't want to get off the couch when Aunt Rae Rae came to "Babysit" (for the third time that week) so Sean and I could "go out on a date to the movies". I had NO idea what was going on and cried and cried from exhaustion and feeling guilty about having Rae Ann have to sit with our sick babe. But, I succumbed and went to see a movie with Sean. When we got back there was nothing to suspect because there was not a car to be found! Inside were my nearest and dearest with a ton of food, diapers and wipes :) Perfect! We had such a nice evening chatting and laughing.
These are certainly the times when I miss my mom the most. She would have been there enjoying every moment with us and loving that fact that I have such thoughtful friends. It hurts so much that only one of my friends who attended even knew her...and knows how much she would have loved to have been there with us to celebrate her second granddaughter! I could just picture her sitting at the dining room table with her bright smile and tongue against her teeth shining like the Grandma star she could have been. Bitter Sweet are these days that come with babies when your mom is gone...Thank goodness Kiera and Cate have such amazing angels on their side up there!
This was supposed to be about our little Miss 23 Month old...nothing too much has changed...she's still Little Miss Personality, full of life and spunk (even when she's sick). She is one of the smartest people I've ever met...that says a lot haha...and seems to grow in her knowledge every single day.
Current Obsessions:
- Elmopalooza has come back into play and keeps her entertained for hours on end.
- Any book about animals is still a fan favorite.
- Sitting in the forts that Daddy has built for her...and forcing us inside too!
- With that being said, pulling us into the playroom closet...I can't really fit anymore.
- She likes to ask for something and when we repeat it back to her she says, "alright" like it was our idea that she's now agreeing to.
- Fave snacks: goldfish, pretzels with peanut butter, chips and salsa, grapes, bananas, cheese, and blueberry muffins.
We cannot wait for the weather to break to get outside! I for one need to get my butt in gear and walk off some of this winter/baby weight that is haunting me like the plague! And we all need some nice fresh air to clear us out...and especially get all the germs out of our house...yuck.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Our Winter Day at the Beach!
We decided to get out of the stuffy house for some aquarium and beach fun today! Kiera LOVES animals, especially sea creatures...so Jenkinson's was the perfect place for a couple of hours. Some of the funny things she says for animals:
- "Arf Arf": Seals
- "Da-na, Da-na, Da-na, Da-na, Da-na": Sharks
- "Waddle, Waddle, Waddle": Penguins
- "Crunch, Crunch, Crunch": Alligators
We hope you enjoy the very first video that's ever uploaded for us! Kiera had a fabulous time "talking" to the seals!
We also got to wander around on the beach for about an hour! It was joyous!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
22 Months Old...and Cate Update :)
Here's a picture of her with her new baby cousin, Jason. She's practicing being a BIG sister and as you can see, is enjoying every moment of it...lol.
Kiera is truly showing her outgoing personality at this time. She's talking in complete sentences, can usually ask for whatever she wants or needs...and often demands them...picks out her own outfits whether we like it or not, and can flop from cuddly to running around like a loon in a moment's notice!
I'm sure she still doesn't realize that in 2 1/2 short months a baby will be part of her every day life, but she still embraces my ever growing belly and kisses it every day. She's pretty gentle with the dogs, her babies, and us so I'm hoping for the best with Cate...we shall see!
Some of the things that she's loving to do right now are:
- Reading on the couch snuggled in a blanket. Usually it's the same books over and over again. Her favorites right now are: Dr. Suess's ABC, If You Give a Moose a Muffin, Go Diego, Go, Ding Dong! It's Elmo, and her "Zoo Book".
- She LOVES the show "Go Diego, Go!" and can do ALL of the animal noises. She's even picked up a lot of Spanish so whenever she wants to climb something she will literally say, "climb, sube!" It's amazing!
- She must be bored with all her puzzles, so I have to invest in some new ones, because she can put all of them together in a minute flat. My dad and Camille got her an ABC one for Christmas and they were concerned that she wouldn't be able to do it, but alas, she's mastered it and can name all the items that are on the letters too.
- She has invented many "Kiera Games" recently. One in particular she really likes to play with Dad because he can roll about more than Mom. She leads him to the light switch, they have to turn it on then off, leads him back to the ottoman where she lays down and pretends to snore under a blanket. Then she pops up, says, "I found you!" and dives...DIVES...into Daddy's arms and they fall backwards and roll on the floor...she will do this 800 times in a row if we let her...and she'll always hold up her finger and say, "one more time?" It's really too much.
Otherwise, we're all quite ready for the snow to melt, the sun to come out, and spring to be here already! We went for a brief stroll on Sunday, but it was still a bit chilly with the wind...good to get outside though. We all need some AIR and some serious playground time :)
Caitlin is growing and growing...and so is Mommy...we have quite a while to go, but a lot to do and accomplish in the meantime, so no one is rushing anything :) I can honestly say though that this pregnancy has gone by 99xs faster than Kiera's for sure! Lots of waiting around with Miss Kiera and now I don't have any time for that. I keep saying to myself that I must cherish this time and feeling her flop about inside of me because this will be the last time...and I'm really trying.
I also passed my 3 hour glucose test! This is HUGE because they diagnosed me with gestational diabetes with Kiera and it made me very worried every day. I had to check my levels four times a day...not always conducive to being a teacher (much like the peeing thing)...make sure everything I put in my mouth was perfect and worry, worry, worry that everything went smoothly inside my person. Not to mention all the specialists' appointments including going to see a dietitian for an entire day. I think I may stick to some of the diet however because it really kept my weight in check. But at least if I want to have that piece of candy or small bowl of ice cream at the end of the day, I don't have to worry about it! Phew.
We're getting very excited to be a "Family of Four" and I intend on doing nothing this summer but relaxing with Cate, running around with Kiera, and going to the beach, beach, pool, pool, beach, boat, etc...you see the pattern :) I'm so curious how it's all going to play out and doing some deep breathing about it...hahaha...I'm also curious about what she's going to look like, me, Sean, Kiera...a combination of everyone...we shall see! But for now, like I said, I'm just trying to relish in the remainder of the pregnancy and not take a minute for granted!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
21 Months Old!
She is the cutest little person I've ever met! She counted to 16 the other night and Sean and I almost lost it...not to mention knowing the lyrics to songs, reading books to us, and her exceptional art work :) We feel very lucky!
Kiera's favorite things this month are:
- Cooking in her new kitchen.
- Playing with her blocks and saying, "this one goes on top".
- Reading her Big Sister book before bed.
- Laying in "the pillows" on our bed to read before we go to bed.
- Still LOVES brushing her teeth with a passion...and has 4 more coming in right now!
- Loves to get naked to go "pee-pee in the potty".
- Newest enjoyment is taking showers...too much.
- She has a new favorite stuffed animal every day that she insists on taking to daycare...lamby still rules the roost though, of course :)
- Loves the "compooter!"
- Favorite foods are: anything smothered in cheese or cheese in general (so mac n' cheese), broccoli, cauliflower, chicken nuggets, pizza, raisin toast, bagels, sausage, strawberries, blueberries (always a fan favorite), apples, "nanas" or as we call them-bananas, goldfish, popcorn, pretzels...it could go on and on.
In three short months Kiera will be two years old...and a big sister in three and a half! Oh my good lord.